Miscellaneous: Today, I was hanging out with this guy I've been trying to get...

By stanky - 22/04/2009 04:37 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with this guy I've been trying to get for four months. I felt like I needed to go to the bathroom. I walked out, glad that I was quiet about it. Ten minutes later, my mom walks out of the same bathroom and goes "Honey, you need to spray after you make a stinky" FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 857

You deserved it 5 842

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Same thing different taste

By June - 19/05/2009 21:51 - Canada

Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 622

You deserved it 74 765

By stinky - 12/12/2011 04:46 - United States

Today, my coworker friend told me she was going to the restroom. Soon after, I did the same. Once in the stall, I could smell a stench emanating from the next one. I yelled, "Ew, you stinky bitch" and sprayed air freshener under the partition. As I left the stall, my friend walked into the restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 047

You deserved it 46 718

By obtuse_ballsack - 04/06/2012 20:37 - Croatia - Zagreb

Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 701

You deserved it 2 757

By IAmACoolCat - 05/07/2011 16:41 - United States

Today, I found my dad using my bathroom. Why? Because he "had to take a crap" and didn't want to stink up his own bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 506

You deserved it 4 955

By me - 08/06/2012 14:00 - United States - Carthage

Today, I was taking a shower. My mom thinks it's ok to just walk in on someone when they are in there so she decides to take a crap. The worst part is she thought it would be less awkward to talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 471

You deserved it 2 709

In the mood

By Steve - 16/12/2012 06:25 - United States - Oshkosh

Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 782

You deserved it 18 359

By facepalm - 14/06/2011 08:30 - United States

Today, I really had to go to the bathroom. Due to my fear of public restrooms, I made sure it was clear before I started. I heard someone sigh halfway through. Embarrassed, I waited a full ten minutes before leaving the stall, only to see that it was only the automatic air freshener. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 964

You deserved it 35 780

Shock and awe

By Embarassed Girl - 14/07/2022 02:00

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, hanging out with him and his mom. I had to do a number two. A while later, we hear his mom in the washroom. She had turned on the bathtub and was flushing the toilet. A lot. Later on, my boyfriend leaves the room and she says, “Did you make that mess in the toilet?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 760

Classy

By embaressed - 19/12/2009 09:44 - United States

Today, I was standing outside a store about to flirt with this guy when my mother drove up and shouted, "Hurry up, I have diarrhea!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 840

You deserved it 3 086

Amplified

By Anonymous - 01/09/2010 23:04 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 572

You deserved it 4 369

Alanna_Vicious 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 12:15

If it isn't one thing, it's your mother...

hpnerd 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 12:30

Mothers are genetically enhanced to embarrass their daughters. And if you see yourself with this guy seriously then he's going to know you take dumps. He'll have to live with it and you'll have to stop being so self conscious. It's natural.

Comments

eyefork 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 16:16

Maybe he's into girls that take major *****, you never know!

pleasetryagain 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 16:19

THANK YOU, #22. If he doesn't want you after knowing that you have normal human functions then he's an idiot, and you're not much better for thinking that it matters.

notmuch 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 17:02

Now he knows you're human. Oh no! Your life is screwed!

kurukururock 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 17:38

Oh, cry about it! If he likes you enough, he can live with the fact that, 1. you're human, and 2. moms say babyfied things.

maddog_fml 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 17:57

Hahaha!! She really said that? Haha! LOL @#23

TMX666 1

Wednesday 22 April 2009 18:14

Man that's embarrassing.. But I wouldn't worry about it, if the guy respects you and cares about you he wouldn't make a big deal out of it like "What women poo and fart?" If he reacts like this he's obviously retarded as it is a natural process and he's not worth your time. Personally, if I was the guy I would be laughing at what the mother said and reassure the girl if she was embarrassed about it not to worry about it, then again I'm not shallow.