Today, I was hanging out with a guy that I really like. When he gave me a hug goodbye, he slid his hand into the back pocket of my jeans. It was glorious until I farted on his hand. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was seeing my boyfriend for the first time in 3 weeks. I was so excited to see him that I gave him a big hug. He must have been excited to see me too, because he hugged me so tight that he squeezed a fart out of me. FML
Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML
Today, the guy of my dreams told me he liked me and leaned in to kiss me. Just as our lips touched, I ripped a big ass fart. FML
Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML
Today, my fiancé hugged me so tight that I couldn't move, said he loved me, let out a loud, obnoxious and smelly fart cloud and made me breathe it in. FML
Today, I realized that the only time my boyfriend ever wants to hug me is just after he's let off a fart and wants to pull me into it. FML
Today, I was talking to this guy that I like a lot and I think he likes me back. When he told me I was beautiful I laughed so hard that I farted. Loudly. FML
Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for two years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
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Top comments
iAmScrubs 19
He is going to make a vow to never wash that hand again.
FiestaInMyPants 8
He took your breath away, but from the wrong end..
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Comments (266)
salvorican 24
Damn, sexy. Haha
JoeTheMan12 0
I wouldn't really care if a girl farted...?
fruitschinpo 0
137 - because you are a desprate virgin. and i bet you just wanna get laid.
DynamicDave 11
Or because he's a human, realizes it happens to everyone, and he has a sense of humor... Naw, that couldn't possibly be it.
Divine_Mamma 11
It's not like you can control it. It happens.
b70valkyrie 0
it happens to everyone... you just had particularly bad timing! laugh it off :)
cheree19 0
so true!
plebeianFelix 5
against all odds, and with considerable ingenuity, you've discovered the last line of defense against pick-pockets. tremendous bravery huzzah!
7sevensevenseven 0
way to go but i doubt he thot anything of it u will laugh at it together later in ur relationship
darkness4dummies 0
queef possibly? But dont you know how to control your farts? Me and my friends learned how to in the 5th grade
chaoticnh 0
so you were farting uncontrollably 4th grade and below lol?
urmomsupstrs 1
HA!!!! funny
XxEmoSnowboarder 8
14 Did you have a class on how to control your farts or something?
51194 3
^^ Win :D
MareNostrum 0
Ha! Nice one.
hutch66 13
Good for you! you're parents must be so proud!
whisperingeye13 0
it is a class! the final exam involves taking exlax and eating an entire can of beans. if you can hold in your farts and explosive diarhea for 1 hour you pass Fart Control 101. I'm suprised you and your friends took such an advanced course in the 5th grade!
fckdupzf 0
Hahahahaha
7sevensevenseven 0
way to go but i doubt he thot anything of it u will laugh at it together later in ur relationship
cheree19 0
srsly I farted on accident once when I slid off my bed and I was all embarrassed, but now me and my bf laugh about it.
snickersxx 0
I don't think there will be a relationship after that.
lauren_pink 0
:-S that sucks!
Person1233 13
No, it blows.
markymark1429 8
nice Photoshop job
cheree19 0
yea those **** look terrible...maybe if she was cute...but no.
lauren_pink 0
WTF? why be mean! and I wouldn't have a clue how to photo shop? it's called a PUSH UP BRA! and it's funny how you's 2 are bagging on me but you don't have a picture of yourself! >_<
Reed_111 5
there nothing wrong with her ****! stupid dog!
lauren_pink 0
^ thank u :-)
dreamering 16
that's called: perfect timing
JokerJohn7 0
the colon doesn't belong in your comment :)
PetiteLady 4
My foot belongs up your colon: grammar Nazi.
Sarababyyy94 0
^^ WIN!!! (=
BeatlesObsessed 12
"Today, I was hanging out with a girl I really like. When I gave her a hug to say goodbye, I put my hand in the back pocket of her jeans. She farted on my hand. FML" F HIS life!
CateXOX 0
I think he can deal with a farted-on hand. She might have just ended their almost-relationship.
simistar1 0
that sucks I woulda been soo embarrassed