Today, I was giving my friend a crash course in Star Wars over coffee. As I was telling him about the primitive and savage Sand People, some attention-seeking tit came out of nowhere and called me racist. Apparently she thought I was talking about people from the Middle East. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my coworker and I were swamped with coffee orders. I told him I would "take care of the blacks", and a customer who only heard that sentence screamed at me for several minutes about racism. FML
Today, while talking to my girlfriend, the subject of Darth Vader came up. That's when she asked me, "Aren't Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker the same person?" I don't know what's worse, the fact that she asked me that, or the fact that I got upset over her lack of Star Wars knowledge. FML
Today, I lost half my friends and was kicked out of my Star Wars club, all because I said that The Acolyte is unwatchable trash. Apparently that makes me "an alt-right Trump-humper." Whatever that means. FML
Today, I was out drinking with some colleagues, when one started ranting about some pretty sensitive subjects. There were some Latino guys nearby, and as soon as he said "I'm not racist, but..." I tried to casually get the hell out of there. We all got the crap beaten out of us anyway. FML
Today, I watched a movie my old teacher recommended me. She was one of my favourite teachers. I saw the title, opened it, and found out that the premise is racist towards my ethnic group. She marked me harshly. FML
Today, I learned that all of my "friends" refer to me as the, "Jar Jar Binks" of our circle of friends. FML
Today, I was accused of racism for mentioning that a Native American woman in my neighborhood is illiterate. She's a special needs adult waiting for an opening in a group home, I only mentioned she was illiterate because people couldn't figure it out and were upset that she couldn't read the notes they were leaving. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I binged Star Wars. Now he keeps talking about how the Empire is superior to the Republic, digging up Reddit threads / YouTube videos / expressing his own political ideas to convince me of this. I just wanted to watch the movies. FML
Today, my ex purposely taught our kids to call all the Star Wars characters by Star Trek names. I’m not sure what bothers me more, the fact that she did it, or the fact that it makes me utterly insane when they say them. FML
Today, I was talking to a smokin' hot Cuban sorority girl. She told me her mom only speaks Spanish, so she translates for her. Without thinking I said, "Oh like Chewbacca and Han Solo?" FML
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Top comments
masterchief520 6
The haters will be back, and in greater numbers.
HrothgarXII 21
Was she a scruffy looking nerf-herder?
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Comments (99)
Railroader 16
Did it KILL you to take it SOLO?
Dave_Davington 35
They're called Tuskans, not "sand people", and they have an incredibly rich history and culture. Check your privilege, shitlord.
rinzlerkitty94 31
Uh, no. Step aside, dumbass and prepare to be lectured. First off, it's Tusken, there's no a. Second, that is the traditional name, they gained the name Tusken Raiders after a raid on Fort Tusken. And there really is a lot that's not known about them other than that they are an ancient race, which its speculated that the Jawas could be descendants of them somehow. They have a complex history and culture and are known for being territorial and extremely xenophobic. So there, do YOUR research next time.
Dave_Davington 35
ZOMG! STOP TRIGGERING ME YOU RACIST SHITLORD!!!
Alexandria79 22
Hahaha. person should mind their own business
brenton490 19
Good!Good! Let the hate flow through them. Their training almost is almost complete!
NDForever1 14
"Attention seeking tit"
AwkwardKarma 18
Then she's racist for assuming that.
fpants2010 18
I need you to be my friend and give me a crash course as well! My 5yo son is getting quite frustrated that I know nothing about Star Wars.
juturnaamo 29
You'll probably want to catch up at least on the original trilogy before seeing the new one. Some scenes will take you longer to figure out without background knowledge.
brenton490 19
Watch the trilogies, and for extended knowledge the star wars wiki is always great too.
False_Stupidity 42
Better than a crash course is to sit down and watch at least the original trilogy. I've been doing this with my wife, who had never seen Star Wars until now and she has become a fan.
zarrganaut 17
Mind her business, she must.
JonBall 17
That makes her a racist since she assumed you were talking about middle eastern people when you said those things.
HawksFan44 5
The stupidity is strong with this one.