Work: Today, I was giving a tour on campus when one of my friends approached...

By JimmyJazzNJ - 12/04/2009 02:51 - United States

Today, I was giving a tour on campus when one of my friends approached us and said "Don't go here, the weed's too expensive." and walked away. Thinking he's coming back to say he's joking, he instead says "Just kidding, its really cheap." and walked away. I may or may not still have a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 829

You deserved it 5 102

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
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Same thing different taste

By LowerCrust - 30/01/2012 02:36 - United States

Today, I arrived at the pizza place I work at to find that I'd been fired. Apparently, the class stoner came in last night and not only demanded a free pizza, but also claimed that I always gave him one. I've never talked to this kid in my life, but my boss still doesn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 172

You deserved it 2 077

By Anonymous - 25/03/2014 03:29 - United States - University Park

Today, I was walking around my college campus when someone asked me if I had gotten separated from my tour group. He didn't believe me when I said I was a student there. This happens all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 254

You deserved it 3 682

By sickly - 18/02/2011 13:06

Today, my friend came over with brownies as a treat before work. She works in a bakery so I thought it was lovely. After starting work, I became stoned. She thought it was a great prank. I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 521

You deserved it 4 348

By Anonymous - 10/10/2012 01:57 - United States - Rancho Santa Margarita

Today, a customer handed me a 100 dollar bill. He then told me that it was my tip for doing a good job. He snatched it away just as I touched it, laughed, and said, "Just kidding." He then took his money and left the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 158

You deserved it 2 422

By Potted - 16/11/2015 02:34 - United States - Denton

Today, after my close friend had his baby, he told me that he was no longer going to be selling weed at his house. I was happy for him, because it's unsafe. Until I found out he was still selling at my house with the help of my roommates, without telling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 956

You deserved it 3 906

By Annomymous - 23/01/2015 18:12 - United States - Clarkston

Today, my asshat roommate tricked me into eating a weed brownie. I thought it was his terrible attempt at baking regular brownies until it kicked in at college. I was so high, I started giggling like a schoolgirl when my instructor said "Dickens". Now everyone thinks I'm a retard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 878

You deserved it 4 889

By blahpizzablah - 22/06/2009 00:37 - United States

Today, I was delivering pizzas for my summer job. I got a big order to deliver for a fellow graduate's party. While I was being paid for the order my friend shows up and says "Don't pay him, his parents are rich, he can handle it." Then they shut the door and took off. The bill was $75. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 602

You deserved it 3 810

How very dare you?

By FOXYgrandpa441 - 19/07/2012 00:41 - United States - Casper

Today, I was getting lunch at a fast food restaurant. My boss was in front of me, and in order to get on his good side I offered to pay. Instead, I got fired because I guess my boss assumed I was making fun of his salary, which I knew nothing about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 531

You deserved it 3 168

By Sudokori - 07/09/2017 01:30

Today, my coworker paid me back the $15 I let him borrow and we shook hands. Later, I was called into my boss's office, where he threatened to fire me for doing a drug deal in front of customers. The police are getting involved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 245

You deserved it 268

Shade

By notastoner - 19/06/2011 06:38 - United States

Today, I left early from a trashy dance and bought a soda at a Shell station. The clerk asked me if I had been smoking weed. When I replied, "No", he said, "You mean you always look like that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 613

You deserved it 5 600

SpunkT 0

Sunday 12 April 2009 13:02

Yeah why would you be responsible for having an idiot friend? Also you could have just said something to the effect of "Don't mind him, he's an idiot" and pretend he's not your friend. And then later tell him not to bother you when you're working cause it's really rude.

24788 6

Sunday 12 April 2009 12:49

I do stupid things like this all the time to my friends. You need to lighten up and relax about it.

Comments

vivianclaire 0

Sunday 12 April 2009 23:07

the university of oregon has the best weed.

awalkb 0

Sunday 12 April 2009 23:13

you're friend is my favorite person ever hahahahha

mishmash_fml 0

Sunday 12 April 2009 23:21

just wondering... are you at UCSC?

tiltwrestler 0

Sunday 12 April 2009 23:25

Haha omg. Where did you get the idea that i'm self righteous? I'm just a mixture of lucky, hard-working, common-sensed, and I want to be able to take care of my family when I'm older and married. What does that have to do with self-righteousness or jealousy? In person im one of the most modest people you'd ever meet... i just needed to say that to explain why i wasnt going to college, that's all. as you can see, I didn't attack anybody- like the person who attacked me did! If that person hadnt of made a snarky diss at me, I wouldn't have had to DEFEND myself from his personal, ignorant attack. ========== PS that's where me being "not self-righteous or boastful" comes in. When I date a girl I'm not going to announce to her I have a lot of money. And I'll try my best to avoid even letting her see my car or house, until I know she's really interested in me for ME. once she is, THEN she can see that stuff! but im not one to brag

nimaisha 0

Monday 13 April 2009 0:23

haha... you go to CU, don't you :)

bamblam_fml 0

Monday 13 April 2009 0:42

shove it in your friends face, wether or not you lost your job, the people who you were giving the tour too might have changed their minds

hahaha12 0

Monday 13 April 2009 1:48

#50 shut up.. for the op: haha your freinds sounds hella tite. also what collage is this that sells cheap weed? jk

lovepinnk 0

Monday 13 April 2009 1:51

This is bad, but I've had worse. I am a tour guide as well, and my friend came up to me last week and said "Dude, are you getting drunk tonight, like last night!?" in front of my tour. It was a Tuesday and I did NOT drink Monday night! Everyone heard and I had to apologize to my tour, then I had a serious talk with him.

heyyou1203 0

Monday 13 April 2009 3:59

HA HA HA HA! your friend is fantastic. I work at my college's Admissions office, and my school's super small, and it's really awkward when I interview a high schooler and then see them when I'm drunk later that night at a party. Oops.

420hiadventurer 0

Monday 13 April 2009 4:12

Ahahahahaha that FML is hilarious. It is so tempting to mess with those tour groups. And tiltwrestler, from #17 i figured you probably never went to college. You are very fortunate that you had a successful father and continue the family business. If you are lucky enough to have the oportunity for a six figure salary without college, obviously you aren't going to go. I agree that certain fields of study in college don't lead to jobs. But it is also a place to explore your interests and find out what you want to do. If you are motivated and know what you want to do, it is a great investment. I don't know how you could have "career specific training" in high school, because so many people would not know what career they want to pursue. And also, you say in #56: " im one of the most modest people you'd ever meet." You don't sound too modest to me. And I would know, i'm the most modest person in the world.