Today, I was getting it on with my cute guy friend in his candlelit bedroom and we had just started tearing each other's clothes off. I decided to be coy and sexy and flip my hair to the side. As I did so, my long hair caught in the flames of his lit candles and caught half of my head on fire. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was trying to be sexy in the bathtub for my boyfriend. I leaned back and caught my hair on fire with the candle. FML
Today, the guy I was seeing put candles all over his room to make things romantic. As we were getting it on, a plastic bag caught fire next to the bed. He had the brilliant idea to wave it around to put it out. Burning pieces of plastic landed on my arm. FML
Today, I invited my girlfriend to come over, telling her I had a surprise. I filled the bathtub and lit a lot of candles to be romantic. She gets here, and we start doing our thing. Until we smell something burning. It was my hair. I now have a bald spot on the back of my head. FML
Today, things started to heat up in the bedroom. Not in a sexual way, though; the lamp caught fire. FML
Today, I mixed drunkenness with sensual oils, a lot of whiskey, a massage, and scented candles, which resulted in accidentally setting my husband's back hair on fire. FML
Today, I was sitting next to my friend as he blew out the candles on his birthday cake. Some asshole got the bright idea to shove his face in the cake, but they missed and pushed me in instead. The candles were still lit. My hair caught fire. FML
Today, while I was in the midst of the most mind-blowing shower sex ever, the fire alarm went off. My girlfriend had left the stove top on and the entire kitchen had caught on fire. So instead of finishing, I frantically ran around naked trying to douse the flames. FML
Today, I had sex with a new guy. After we were done, he noticed my lighter on my nightstand and said, "I've always wanted to try that!" He put the lighter by his butt and fart into it, producing a flame. After, when he left, I sat there, naked, mortified. FML
Today, I was having trouble blowing out the last of the several candles on my bedside table. Exasperated, I blew as hard as I could, which sent hot wax from the other candles shooting into the air, all over my face and into my eyes. FML
Today, I chuckled at a "No Smoking" sign as I lit my cigarette. I bent my head down to light it and somehow managed to light my hair on fire. FML
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Top comments
CryingHowls 0
that's hot ;)
Rldiamond90 0
lol we just found the plotline for Twoface: Origins
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Comments (154)
BurnedByLove 0
Wow. And this was for your "cute guy FRIEND"....You're not even going out? Way to go, *****. you burnt your scalp for someone you could have gotten an STD from, and never would've talked to again! =)
painandpeace 0
No need to call her a *****. What's wrong with wanting to be pleasing for someone? FYL forburning your hair. Hopefully, the haircut is nice.
hisopy 0
i lol
shitgew 0
not to be mean but that's f***ing funny!
blueforyou 0
fake...
blueforyou 0
fake...
Maybe_Danzy 0
Maybe you should be more careful with candles next time...
silly_kate 0
#13: classic!!! lol, you silly billy! might I suggest tying it up?
awesomeperson 0
HOT. figuratively and literally
ThE_DaNNy 0
Your all ******* douches, and this might not've happened and might have, but theres no reason to go 'omg ****' or 'fake fake'. Honestly? No one gives a flying ****.