Today, I was getting coffee with my aunt, and she asked me to pay. She then turned to the Barista and said, "He's never had a girlfriend before, and I wanted to show him that they take your money." The Barista laughed so hard she had to excuse herself. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm a barista at Starbucks. When my crush walked in and asked how much his coffee would cost, I said a date. He said he'd rather pay for the coffee. FML
Today, I went to my favorite café to order my usual iced latte. The barista smiled and said, “The usual, right?” I nodded confidently, except she wasn’t talking to me. She handed the drink to the guy behind me and said, “Thanks, babe.” He winked at her. I just paid for my drink in silence, praying for a sinkhole to open. FML
Today, I went up to a cute barista at the coffee shop and told her, “You make the best coffee, like seriously, you could make a career out of it.” She gave me a weird look and responded, “I AM a barista.” FML
Today, I walked into a coffee shop where I always flirt with the cute barista who I think likes me, and confidently told her I'd have "the usual." She just stared at me blankly and said, "I have literally never seen you before in my life." FML
Today, I went to a coffee shop with my friend. The guy rang her up and said it was only a dollar as he winked at her $10 purchase. Then he rang me up at completely full price. She got his number and I got to be the ugly friend once again. FML
Today, I tried to flirt with the cute barista by pretending to know a lot about coffee. I said, “I’ll take a macchiato, extra creamy.” He smiled and said, “That’s… not a thing.” I panicked and said, “Neither is my love life.” FML
Today, I went on an a date with a guy I met online. We were waiting in line at Starbucks when he turned to me and said, "Do you want anything?" Just before I was about to answer, he practically shoved in front of me and paid for himself. The cashier looked more horrified than I did. FML
Today, I was in the mood for some coffee, which is right down the street. I brought ten dollars with me, not knowing how much I'd need. When I approached the counter, the barista looked at my hand holding the ten-dollar bill and said, "Oh, our cheap things are on the left side of the menu." FML
Today, a woman came through my drive-thru and ordered a latte, but the bank had closed off her cards and she was short 30 cents in cash. I felt bad, so I paid for her. When I went home, I told my dad what I did, thinking he'd be proud of how he raised me but no, he said I'd wasted my money, and made me feel bad about it. FML
Today, I thought I was being smooth by using a pickup line on a cute barista. I confidently said, "Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears." She replied, "Actually, I'm a barista, and everyone else is waiting for their coffee. Next!" FML
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Top comments
countrygirl3250 16
and that's when you should have said; "and this is why you're on your third husband" regardless if she really is or not!
MetalxSoldier 26
And they embarrass you. Hmm... I think as long as you don't date your aunt out anyone like her you should be fine.
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Comments (75)
RawEndo 1
Better get a girlfriend to spend your money on rather than on your aunt.
mikeofthunder 13
If she's that good at embarrassing you, get her on your side and she'd probably get you a gal as quick as a sneeze!
Riley97 0
Get on her good side you mean?
simonsaysYDI 8
Both ways make sense =P
OkitaCockroach 19
Oh wow. The joke wasn't even funny. Was the barista high or something?
kei1108 13
I don't see why that would be so hilarious. Don't listen to them, OP. You're awesome!
icallbullshit 3
You see guys it's funny because it's true, girlfriends do take your money. If you're a doormat that is.
br0ccoli 15
Awww. Nothing like tough love to make you hate your family members. Who needs enemies with family like that?
zacsFML1212 0
It's okay my aunts a bitch as well
teague95 16
Maybe it's because you take weird angle photos
simonsaysYDI 8
Maybe it's because she doesn't want a Justin Bieber wannabe for a nephew?
habibiiiiiii 2
Haters !!
KiddNYC1O 22
Gonna hate.
linkinpark98 24
There's someone for everyone, OP! I'm sure you'll find her. :)
felisaa 5
What a random thing for your aunt to say. Just find someone better to spend your money on(:
ancollins 6
Next time you're with her, just start walking away and say to the first guy you see "she's never had sex before, and I was just showing her how that's all some guys want"