Today, I was getting coffee with my aunt, and she asked me to pay. She then turned to the Barista and said, "He's never had a girlfriend before, and I wanted to show him that they take your money." The Barista laughed so hard she had to excuse herself. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm a barista at Starbucks. When my crush walked in and asked how much his coffee would cost, I said a date. He said he'd rather pay for the coffee. FML
Today, I went to my favorite café to order my usual iced latte. The barista smiled and said, “The usual, right?” I nodded confidently, except she wasn’t talking to me. She handed the drink to the guy behind me and said, “Thanks, babe.” He winked at her. I just paid for my drink in silence, praying for a sinkhole to open. FML
Today, I went up to a cute barista at the coffee shop and told her, “You make the best coffee, like seriously, you could make a career out of it.” She gave me a weird look and responded, “I AM a barista.” FML
Today, I walked into a coffee shop where I always flirt with the cute barista who I think likes me, and confidently told her I'd have "the usual." She just stared at me blankly and said, "I have literally never seen you before in my life." FML
Today, I went to a coffee shop with my friend. The guy rang her up and said it was only a dollar as he winked at her $10 purchase. Then he rang me up at completely full price. She got his number and I got to be the ugly friend once again. FML
Today, I tried to flirt with the cute barista by pretending to know a lot about coffee. I said, “I’ll take a macchiato, extra creamy.” He smiled and said, “That’s… not a thing.” I panicked and said, “Neither is my love life.” FML
Today, I went on an a date with a guy I met online. We were waiting in line at Starbucks when he turned to me and said, "Do you want anything?" Just before I was about to answer, he practically shoved in front of me and paid for himself. The cashier looked more horrified than I did. FML
Today, I was in the mood for some coffee, which is right down the street. I brought ten dollars with me, not knowing how much I'd need. When I approached the counter, the barista looked at my hand holding the ten-dollar bill and said, "Oh, our cheap things are on the left side of the menu." FML
Today, a woman came through my drive-thru and ordered a latte, but the bank had closed off her cards and she was short 30 cents in cash. I felt bad, so I paid for her. When I went home, I told my dad what I did, thinking he'd be proud of how he raised me but no, he said I'd wasted my money, and made me feel bad about it. FML
Today, I thought I was being smooth by using a pickup line on a cute barista. I confidently said, "Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears." She replied, "Actually, I'm a barista, and everyone else is waiting for their coffee. Next!" FML
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Top comments
countrygirl3250 16
and that's when you should have said; "and this is why you're on your third husband" regardless if she really is or not!
MetalxSoldier 26
And they embarrass you. Hmm... I think as long as you don't date your aunt out anyone like her you should be fine.
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Comments (75)
DrBlack 9
She sounds funny, this is the kind of stuff you'll all be doing when you get older.
1crabbygirl 10
That's true. But I frequently get the impression that the young something-teens are well-represented here, disguised as older.
groupleader 7
Hope you broke up with your aunt after that. You can do better, do you have any nice cousins or sisters that would date you?
1crabbygirl 10
*See the earlier FML, "how to be your own cousin"
loserman67 36
Sounds like Auntie Bitchface needs a good dousing with a nice hot cup of overpriced coffee shop coffee. Thanks to her the Barista is one more chick you won't be getting.
perdix 31
Actually, girlfriends don't take your money, they work for it. For an overpriced coffee served by a capital B Barista (who asks to be tipped), you should expect at least a hand job. If you were a good nephew, you may have earned a nice BJ ;)
Eraslayer 18
am I the only one who thought Baristas belong in court?
mustangkid21 0
She's a player...... Your aunt did the same thing to me when i met her on pof
mustangkid21 0
Maybe she should blow you to realy know what its like......
stevenmx86 8
Your barista must have been a little slow.. I can't picture a situation where that statement is funny enough to laugh that hard at..
Taymah49 7
I would have thrown the coffee at her butt
JayLite 0
Your aunt seems like she had good intentions. She was right about girlfriends taking your money (if you let them) however, the person that found it so funny is a jerk. It was not that funny!