Today, I was emptying the cutlery section of the dishwasher when I reached down and accidentally got the tip of a steak knife wedged half-way under my fingernail. My mum yelled at me for getting blood on the clean dishes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I washed the dishes for my mom while she was out, as they seemed to be piling up. I accidentally sliced my hand with a knife in the process. After a trip to the hospital, it was revealed she'd been leaving those dishes there "to teach dad a lesson." FML
Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML
Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML
Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML
Today, I was washing dishes after eating Christmas leftovers. I pulled a knife out of the drying rack and put it away to avoid cutting myself on it, yet I still managed to scrape my thumb on an errant fork in the sink. FML
Today, while trying to put something into the almost full waste bin, I cut myself with a razor blade that my son had thrown in there. It was surprisingly sharp, and my finger started pissing blood. FML
Today, I dropped some food on the floor and picked it back up, took a bite, and quickly realised it had toenail cuttings in it. I never cut my toenails in my dining room. FML
Today, I was helping my friend wash dishes. As I went to grab some tongs to dry them, I impaled my forearm on a knife that was sticking blade up. My friend wanted to finish the dishes before taking me to the hospital. FML
Today, my parents kept overreacting over stupid stuff during dinner. I found a hair in a dish, so I removed it myself. My mom goes, "Is that a hair? Is it?! I'll get rid of it!" I told her that I'd already done it myself. Then, because I bit my nail once, my dad constantly kept asking if I was OK, even though I'd said I was. He wouldn't stop! FML
Today, I was cooking dinner for my children, managing for once not to screw up and hurt myself. Then, while chopping vegetables, I accidentally sliced my finger open. The same finger that was still covered in juice from a lemon I'd just squeezed. FML
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Top comments
Mauskau 36
always put knives in blade down
emmaleeislamee 0
Wow, you're mum seems like such a nice lady.
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Comments (111)
Trollz4daLULZ 2
That was no cutlery; that was my knife! *ba-dum-ch!* Proff, you might not want to copy my YDI litanies. A) You're being unoriginal, which is bad enough, and B) that's the reason I was banned for a while. But the mods have told me a way around it! Hey, OP! YDI for contaminating the clean dishes, having a mom, having a dishwasher, having a house, having blood in any way at all, having fingernails, being a klutz, and calling your mom "mum". And yes, I know OP is an Aussie. IDGAF. No "mum"! And Rebbee, I'm glad to know you missed me. I missed video games.
yuggi1 11
hmm... well now you will know better next time, and won't leave the knifes on the bottom of the pile of dishes :P
puddingface17 0
ouchh!
Mirorbo 27
Are you the same darling from the sandals FML?
christa953 12
ohhh sounds so painful :( fyl
BoyBeyond 0
Wow I hate hearing about blood it makes my stomach turn. Exspecially when its something minor like in these cases because i can imagine it and how it would hurt. FML
Vagrarian 2
Sounds like my mom. After a road trip with them, I was horribly carsick. When we got home, I stumbled out and did the heave-ho on the lawn. She then proceeded to bitch me out for not barfing on the compost pile. When I could speak, I informed her that next time, I'll just hurl in the car, like I almost did several times. She was like that, more concerned about material things than my well-being.
SkullCanddi 0
If Shes So Worried About them Make Her Wash Them. She Needs To Stop Bitching.
DMinimo 0
omg. just reading this paralyzed me for a sec
Zakuraa 0
All that I thought of while reading this is "insensitive bitch", and "ouch". lol