Today, I was driving with my mother. The ride was 2 hours long. For the first hour, she talked about how uncomfortable sex is the first time. For the second, she talked about how I should take accordion lessons. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I went out of town with my mother-in-law. I don't know what possessed her to start questioning me about her son's and my sex life. When I told her I wasn't talking about that, she began to discuss her and my father-in-law's bedroom habits. The car ride was two hours. FML
Today, my mom gave me a talk on safe sex. During a three hour car ride. With my friends in the back seat. FML
Today, I had to listen to my mom give a detailed description of her date last night to her friends via speakerphone... while I was trapped in the car with her. When I pointed out that I was still in the back seat, she scoffed and told me, "I have a sex life, deal with it." FML
Today, I went driving for the first time with my mom. When she wasn't screaming, she gave great advice like, "Stop at the red light" and "Don't crash into cars". I need to drive 50 hours with her. FML
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
Today, my mom talked about how it's interesting how there's so many different size of penises. She also told me that since she's doing hormone therapy she's able to orgasm a LOT more. We were stuck in stop and go traffic for three hours. When I turned on the radio, she turned it off and talked more. FML
Today, I had to spend two hours in the car with my mother. That doesn't sound so bad until you realize she's the kind of person who can, and did, spend nearly half an hour ranting about how the Big Beautiful Woman porn niche is the root of obesity in America. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were riding in the back seat of his mom’s car and she kept talking at him non-stop. He responded only in grunts. When at some point I informed her that her son had been asleep for several minutes, she just kept on talking to him anyway. FML
Today, while driving on the streets for the first time, my mom decided that it would be an appropriate time to yell at me for every single mistake I’ve ever made in my life. This stressed me out so much I began driving against traffic. FML
Today, my mom decided to give me a solid reason for not having pre-marital sex. She told me that my future husband will want me to be tight for our first time. My mom and I were on a ski lift. The ride lasted 10 more uncomfortable minutes. FML
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Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
Is there some sort of connection between the two? Does she want you to serenade your partner with sweet polka jams while you two go at it?
woosah 16
to be honest though... we do need a few more according players... so. I mean, think about it at least
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Comments (45)
tundraman07 0
momma's got a squeezebox daddy never sleeps at night
taurusxdee 10
yessss
anonymous93036 0
wow that sux
whiteboy84 0
oh god...FYL!!!!!
samanthakay722 3
you'll never get laid playing the accordion.
Marywuvsyou 0
Wow. Sounds like fun.
ravenxcorvinus 9
FYL hell! FML! My mother-in-law plays the accordian, and I unfortunatly know all to well how good there sex life is (she brags)... My boyfriend is the oldest. Conceived VERY shortly after she fianaly told his dad she played... Now I cant help but to think the two are conected... Eeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwww...
Cathica 8
YDI for giving yourself such an idiotic username.
jennabennasser 0
Wow that's random...
stargazur 9
I used to play accordion, not as bad as you'd think