Today, I was driving home from swim practice with my mom. I glanced over and saw my brother's hot friend, who I've been secretly in love with forever. He waved to me, and excitedly I waved back. I then heard my mom say, "You're gonna die when you see how bad you look right now." FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I was talking to a swimmer I just met. I saw a cute guy and whispered to her, "That guy is hot." She asked "Who?" I pointed at him. She turned to see him, then turned back to me and said "Ew, that's my brother." She went to him, whispered something. He turned around to see me and said, "EW." FML
Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying, "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML
Today, the guy I've secretly been in love with for years told me how hot my brother is. FML
Today, I got in the car with my brother, who drives all the time with his eyes glued to his phone. We stopped at a red light, it turned green. I noticed that he was still looking down and told him the car ahead was moving. I then got screamed at, saying how I'm always right, how my friends suck, and how he wished I was dead. FML
Today, I was getting picked up by my dad after I had been swimming. I saw his car, so I walked over to it, got in and started talking about how I'd seen my brother. It wasn't until after I had put my seat belt on that I realized I was talking to a complete stranger. FML
Today, I drove across two states to see my brother, who's had a history of heart problems. My mother had sent me a long e-mail saying he was on his death bed and wanted to talk to me to "get his affairs in order." When I arrived worriedly, he was fine. My mother guilt-tripped me to come visit. FML
Today, I was at Starbucks after having a rough day. The old man beside me was talking to his friend. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him point at me and say, "See that beautiful girl over there?" Flattered, I listened closer… until he finished his statement with, "She's gonna die." FML
Today, my mom walked into the bathroom while I was taking a pic to send to my long-distance boyfriend. She then told me I would go to hell for flaunting myself at guys. I was fully clothed, sending a pic to see if he liked my new haircut. That and I'm 21. FML
Today, my best friend told me he had a crush on someone in my house. I got excited, but he told me it was my mom. FML
Today, I was shopping with my dad and I saw one of my guy friends, so we waved and smiled at each other. My dad clearly thought his wave was too "romantic", because he shouted at him, "Touch her, and I'll kill you." FML
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Top comments
thisisnotmyname 0
lol No one looks pretty after swim practice. I always looked horrid.
Megbo 0
hahaha oh well, at least he still waved?
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Comments (103)
kungfupow 0
your mom sounds like a real c-word.
Nadinek98 0
lol.
Nadinek98 0
lol.
jackthekeeper 24
I believe you mean ****, but you could be calling her mom a caterpillar so who am I to assume
wut_fml 0
lol that's funny. no worried, everyone looks terrible after swimming.
PlasticShark 0
Why does everyone on FML have such horrible parents?
tencalories 3
well if they where great parents it wouldn't be an fml
amirn86 0
Yeah swim season will destroy your appearance. I bet the chlorine faded your hair too right? If that guy cares that much how you look after you get out of practice then he's not worth it
hXcsoccerplaya 0
chlorine doesn't fade your hair, it bleaches it. eventually, it'll turn it green. swimmers wear swim caps to keep their hair from turning colors that they don't want, so that probably wasn't an issue.
kinkysexx 0
#13 - because people with nice parents don't have ****** lives
save_me_08 0
This may be irrelevant but you didn't take anytime in the locker room after practice. Didn't pass by a mirror? I mean I know appearance likely wouldn't be high on your list of priorities at that point but still...
alleycat2007 0
Sounds like something my mommy would say. I don't really think this is an FML, it's more of shit happens. You didn't look super hot when you saw your crush, but he still waved to you. Big deal. #5, I don't think the Mom was attempting to hurt her daughter's feelings. It sounds more like joking a bit at her expense, but it's not as though she said that "you look horrible, but only plastic surgery could ever fix that".
genius_man16 1
this doesn''t sound like too much of a FML. I mean, yes it was /kind/ of mean, but my parents tell me when i look shitty all the time and my life is far from ****** and my parents are far from jerks. It was just a passing comment that i wouldn't put much stock in. And he /did/ wave to you, so that's good right?
bethinabox 0
hahaha that's hilarious. get over it, it's a joke.
youreawhore 0
Ughhh, I hate when you see a cute guy, and your hair is a mess, you look tired/like a panda, and/or you're wearing old pieces of ill-fitting clothing. Makes you look so uncool, hahaha. But at least the next time he might see you, you'll be more prepared :P
brandnewkey 14
like a panda O.o? I would think that wouldn't be the worst.