Today, I was complimented on my improved performance over the last 3 months. My boss said he doesn't know what I've done to improve, but to keep it up. I'd only started looking for another job, and stopped giving a shit. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Today, I had a performance evaluation meeting with my boss. He told me I was the best in my department, and that the productivity has never been higher before I started working here. Oh, and he said that because everything is working so well, they don't need me as much, so he's cutting my hours. FML
Today, at work, the janitor would not stop telling me how good I looked. This was after he told me he was fired for sexual harassment at his last job. He clearly learned that lesson. FML
The sweet smell of unsuccess
Today, it's the 3-month anniversary of adopting the "I don't have the slightest chance at success" attitude at work. In those 3 months, my boss, my coworkers and my boss's boss have all agreed and our relationships have greatly improved. FML
Today, after putting in 110% at my shitty job for two years straight, my boss told me point-blank I'm too good in my current position for him to ever be able to justify promoting me. FML
Get up off your ass
Today, I got my third promotion at work in as many years. My husband congratulated me very briefly, before asking if this meant he no longer had to look for a job. FML
Kinda sus, dude
Today, I found out people are suspicious of me at work because I do a good job. FML
Scapegoat
Today, I was told I was being fired from my job after "5 months for poor performance." I helped lead my team to the highest possible success they’ve had the last 4 years. FML
The Dilbert Principle
Today, my boss called me into his office. I've been working hard doing extra work so I can get promoted. He called me in to tell me I'm to reliable in my current position, so I won't be moving up. FML
Today, my boss told me that he’d hired me because he thought I looked intelligent. He then went on to say that it was about time that I proved that I was. FML
Today, I gave my boss two weeks notice for me leaving work, as I had received a better job offer with twice the pay. I thought he took it well until I heard him mutter under his breath, "About fucking time." FML
Top comments
rieebee 23
Guess you found the secret to success at your job then!
Miss_Chevious 37
at least your boss appreciates you now
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Comments (55)
ningningniumai 11
May be he knows you're looking for another job ? It's a pain to find replacements and train them.
randomcritic 14
Hey maybe he will give you a good reference for the new job at least, right?
alexanderavatar 24
same thing happened to me at school before i never tried or bother doing the homework but now that i am trying im averaging 15-20% lower
lostinareverie 21
This reminds me of "Office Space" a little. Good luck with all the job stuffs!
daddysgirl243 21
watch there be a promotion next
bad_boyfriend 10
This just reinforces a long held belief of mine. In 90% of workplaces, being friendly, smiling, and people generally liking you is far more important than the work you do on a day to day basis.
dj12inches 10
Very true, the harder you work the more pressure you have. Some places will notice you and reward you, not too many though. What ends up happening is you create more work/responsibilities for your co-workers and they start hating creating problem after problem. Today is more about who you know than how hard you work. Do not give more than what you are expected for if you want to live stress free.
mustangbravo 27
Keep it up buddy!
prettygurl89 16
You'd be surprised how helpful that is
worldclassrager 41
Well that worked...so keep on going...if you find another job that works out better then you can transfer or do both
FragrantSalmon 12
Is your boss a woman by chance?