Today, I was chosen by my coworkers to explain to my elderly boss that ''tossing the salad'' isn't another expression for saying ''brainstorming''. She didn't believe me. Guess we will all keep ''tossing the salad'' for new ideas each afternoon. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I had to explain to my daughter that no, just because the word, "salad" is in the name, it doesn't mean that macaroni or potato salad are automatically healthy for you. She still doesn't believe me. She's 19. FML
Today, during a meeting with my boss, she explained she's giving me one more chance before she has to fire me. Her reason? I accidentally ordered chicken on a salad last week for a meeting and she feels my performance has gone down the tubes. FML
Today, a customer at work pronounced the word "Asian" as "Ah-See-Awn" when ordering a salad. I wasn't allowed to say anything. FML
Today, to eat healthy, I made myself a salad for lunch. While shaking the salad container, the lid popped off, sending lettuce, cucumbers and dressing all over my cubicle. My boss walked in just in time to see me wiping vinaigrette off of my keyboard. FML
Today, we had a meeting at my job and we had to introduce new ideas to our boss. Earlier, I was talking to one of my close friends who also attended the meeting about my idea. As we start the meeting, she decides to steal my idea and take complete credit for it. My boss loves "her" idea. FML
Today, I got a talking-to at work from my new manager for eating other peoples' lunches. Immediately afterwards, I watched my manager leave the room, take MY lunch, and begin eating it. Apparently my new manager is the thief, and I'm now the office pariah who gets the blame. Nobody believes me. FML
Today, a manager was credited for coming up with a safety idea. This is the same idea I brought up weeks prior and was told it was silly by said manager. FML
Today, I ordered some burgers at a fast food joint. When I said, "No lettuce," the cashier looked dumbfounded and asked, "What's that?" I literally had to say, "The green stuff" before she got it. I'm losing hope. FML
Today, I realized my job working with food is getting to me. While having sex with my boyfriend, I fell asleep. He asked me what I was doing, and apparently I sleep-talked, saying "I'm chopping lettuce". FML
Today, I shouldn't have told my boss that I was interested in management. She now throws any problem she doesn't want to solve at me and either gets mad when I can't work it out or takes credit when I do. FML
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Top comments
FYLDeep 26
Maybe she comes up with her best ideas when she's tossing the salad. Who are you to judge?
babyyappld 7
looks like you guys will just have to "toss the salad" on other ways to tell him
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Comments (85)
mccaincracker 6
hardly an fml. more of an fml for me reading it
WaylonD 4
Tell her that she needs to lick butthole for new ideas!
fw1774 0
you are amazingly stupid...
AhtnamasYerg 0
That thought popped into my head too...
ulicksam 0
So you and all your co-workers have a good laugh now and then. That's a FML?
rockarolln89 0
I'd keep on going with it! Just wait until one of the guys up on the higher rungs pays a visit and attends one of these sessions!
perdix 31
Instead of workiñg so hard at "tossing the salad," you ought to "**** the dog" for the rest of the day. (I hope you Canadians know that Americans don't use that figure of speech. We'd think your lazy people are literally zoophiles.)
hatestheworld 0
Yeah, I had no idea what it was. I actually had to look it up.
ryhan87 0
**** you man! canada is the bomb!
macskapingvin 0
Figures of speech are idiomatic. You can use a phrase to mean whatever the hell you want. You want to know what tossing a salad means? It means to toss a salad. Her colloquial use is as valid as yours. And personally, I'd say her meaning makes more analogical sense.
RedPillSucks 33
Yeah. Now I gotta be carefull what to say in meetings. I don't think I'll ever be able to eat tossed salad again. And I have to change the name of my yacht from "blue waffle" to "pacific rim job" or something.
Shadow_Phantom 26
@27: I agree with you here. The dirty meaning of the phrase just does NOT make sense to me how the two are connected in any manner... The elderly boss' use makes more sense.
Hisbabyforever 0
i agree :-)
perdix 31
@macskapingvin: ANALogical sense?!?!? Oh, you dirty, dirty Sanchez, with such a flawless victory, you ought to win a cup, presented to you by two girls.
Crazy_Toss3R 0
what can two girls possibly do with one cup?
underpaid011 0
that's awesome. you can create a fake email address, one that can't be connected to you, and then email her various "salad tossing" webpage links (start with urban dictionary, then go straight to you ****). then maybe she will believe you.
thezaincan 0
one of the stupidest comments I have read on this site.
hatestheworld 0
Really? I love the idea.
nephilim241 19
Give her another random term for brainstorming and explain "that's what all the cool cats say nowadays" lol
leswcst 4
you have amazing eyes! just saying.. :)
_Vamp_ 9
Now everybody loves some BBQ haha