Today, I was called into my 17-year-old son's high school. Why? Because it was Wednesday, also known as "Hump Day" and his friends managed to convince him that you're supposed to go around and hump people. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got called into the principal's office of my son's school. Why? He'd called his teacher a "fudge packer". No more weekends with his uncle. FML
Today, someone called the police on me because one of my students was going home with me every day. The student is my son. FML
Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year-old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML
Today, I had to go into school for the third time this week because my son is claiming he's on bath salts and biting all his classmates. My son is 16. FML
Today, I had to sneak out of work early to pick my 14-year-old son up from school. He and a friend had been found covered in Astroglide, racing each other down the corridor on their bellies. My boss noticed my absence from work, and now my son and I are both on suspension. FML
Today, I went to my son's high school play. The moment I arrived at the auditorium, I shouted out his name to let him know I made it. Thinking I was a student, a teacher yelled, "SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN!" Scared out of my mind, I quickly obeyed, to mass giggling from the kids. FML
Today, my son had to help out at the local retirement home for his community service. He got in serious trouble and came whining to me about it after he tried threatening some of the residents into taking part in a Harlem Shake video. FML
Today, I went with my son to a conference about sexual education at his high school. I guess it was all too late, because among the attendees I saw three girls from the same high school who were already pregnant. They aren't even 18. FML
Today, I just got done being yelled at by my son's headteacher and a bunch of parents, all because my 6 year-old son has been arranging kiss dates between his classmates in exchange for sweets and so on. My little pimp in training. Not a proud dad moment. FML
Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML
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Top comments
Yousuck24 21
How gullible is your son?
zingline89 18
My dog thinks every day is Wednesday.
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Comments (85)
OceanBlueSea 12
Hahahahahahahaha
megamandude455 10
Send him to church. Cause church ALWAYS tells you what's right and what's wrong.
drkate25 30
and then the priests hump the love of god right into the altar boys' asses.
NigerianMedicine 11
If he's that easily convinced to do stupid shit, I don't think humping is the biggest problem here.
TheyCallMeDamien 18
Should've explained dry humping doesn't count. ;)
Abracadavre_fml 9
Peer pressure sucks!
khildebrand2294 9
That's because u r....
kyliersb 4
That's what every normal person does on hump day..
PaLa08 2
I'm sure he enjoyed it
AzWolf 5
And you think he's telling the truth about this?
theslyfox72 3
Thats hot ;)