Today, I was babysitting a little boy for the first time. He kept using all sorts of profanity toward me the whole evening, so I told his mom when she picked him up. She just grunted and muttered, "Fucking cunt-ass snitch." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
Little darling
Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on the job. After his mom finally got home 4 hours later, he called her a slut. When he got in trouble for it, he claimed that I taught him the word. Needless to say, I didn't get paid. FML
Today, I was babysitting a young boy. I accidentally let a few words slip when I dropped something. He won't stop dropping the F bomb and his mother is coming to get him in the morning. FML
Today, I babysat a 6-year-old boy for the first time. When I said it was his bedtime, he just screamed "Eat a dick!" at me. I was so shocked, all I could do was leave him be. When his parents returned, I had to make up an excuse for why he was still awake and watching TV, to save my pride. FML
Thought crime
Today, while babysitting a 9-year-old boy, I stubbed my toe on a coffee table. I yelled, "SON OF A…" but managed to stop myself before saying the last part. The boy yelled, "You were gonna say bitch! I'm telling mom and dad!" and, despite my desperate attempts to dissuade him, he did just that. Guess who's fired. FML
Threat
Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML
Brat era
Today, I babysat the brattiest and most foul-mouthed 8-year-old I've ever met. After I survived three hours of it, his parents finally came home. He claimed I'd invited a boy over and that we did "stuff" on the couch all evening. They believed him. I didn't get paid, to say the least. FML
Today, I was babysitting a really annoying kid who wouldn't listen to me, and threw his food through the kitchen, so I punished him. When his mother came home he ran to her and said, "Mommy, mommy, it's not true what you told me, fat people are NOT nice!" FML
Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML
You ******* idiot
Today, I was babysitting with my best friend, watching my one-year-old cousin. We thought it would be funny to say a bunch of swear words in front of him, since he didn't know how to talk. Five minutes later, guess what his first word was? And guess who won't be invited over for a while? FML
Learning moment
Today, I was babysitting my 6-year-old brother and was playing Mario. When I won, he called me a cunt. I was in shock and asked him where he learnt the word. He said from me when I was driving. He then told my mum that I taught him a new word. Easy to say, I'm in big trouble. FML
Top comments
aliyourpally 12
Well, we know where he learned it from.
_GoodGuy 11
The apple doesn't fall so far from the tree.
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Comments (130)
UnluckyGenius 21
Why are these people breeding?
\ 28
the ****** is a very powerful tool... a tool often placed in the hands of the unskilled
omgthisisgay 10
Unskilled? I refuse to believe a woman is unskilled with using her own ******. Irresponsible, maybe. Unskilled would pertain to a boy such as yourself.
xStaciexLynnx 15
Or an idiot such as yourself who didn't realize 24 was referring to an unskilled man, not a woman unskilled with her own ******.
xcam1995 6
Whoa, cleatus let's not get gender aggressive here. I think women can be just as unskilled as men with the earliest tools ever given to man for reproductive purposes. The solution? Wrap it before it you tap it, ya dig?
Queensland 27
In my humble opinion, #73, a man is of full responsibility of his joystick. If one man were to forget/decide to not use a condom, I wouldn't label the woman unskilled if she were to go forth with the woohoo. I'd call her stupid. And vice versa with birth control & female condom.
sisco2901 20
"Stop breeding already!" anyone?
ironik69 31
I see it what you did there 99. And incidentally. ..I've been around the world and found that only stupid people are breeding, the creatons cloning and feeding.
28already 2
Hahahacoughhackhah
abifida 5
*pats on the back* you OK? need ur inhaler? maybe a lozenge? Reeeeeeeeeeeeecola!
Zimmington 21
Don't you know snitches get stitches Op!?
illegalbeagle69 23
Don't you know comments that aren't really funny get thumbed down Zimmington?
SenselessPattern 12
What a dick, 74, what a dick.
TaniasaysFMLL 15
Wow, why is she a mother? It doesn't seem like she's even trying to discipline him :/
Llama_Face89 34
Because the condom broke. :
MakeTodayADTR 20
Don't worry, she's just mad because she didn't get any salt on her pretzel while they were out.
Uri69 10
Parents like this make their kids brat!
smh811 11
Wow! Who talks like that to a sitter? I am thinking you won't watch the kid again.
ScenicSubterfuge 39
That's quality parenthood right there
suboy 10
Your avi goes very well with your comment
abifida 5
so what did we learn? don't be a snitch...nobody likes a snitch...nobody
queerdragon 20
Harry Potter like snitches.
RonnieG 10
And I thought I was a bad parent.
illegalbeagle69 23
Just because you see parenting worse than yours, doesn't mean you still don't have bad parenting.