By _sourdiesel7 - 10/11/2016 23:39 - United States - Vienna

Today, I was at work training for a new position. The girl who's been training me since I started decided to share about one of her tribe's proud, sacred traditions of eating raw, human flesh. I have another month shadowing her before I can work independently. I'm beyond disturbed. FML
I agree, your life sucks 9 386
You deserved it 825

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Top comments

My tribe has a proud sacred tradition of not being cannibals. Yours too? Yours? You too. Amazing. Everybody in this place is from a tribe that doesn't walk around eating other tribes. Except you, Marge.

Could also be a case of seeing how gullible the "new guy/girl" is. Or she doesn't want to train a new employee and has decided to mess with OP until OP asks for a new person to shadow.

Comments

If she ever says she's hungry and wants you to bring her food just run…

Rawrshi 25

Don't run. You'll trigger her hunting instinct.

My tribe has a proud sacred tradition of not being cannibals. Yours too? Yours? You too. Amazing. Everybody in this place is from a tribe that doesn't walk around eating other tribes. Except you, Marge.

Rawrshi 25

"My stomach was making the rumblies that only hands could satisfy."

Carrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrllllllllllllllll.

I think he says it more like "CAAARRROOOLL."

It's more like CCOORRAALLL

Could also be a case of seeing how gullible the "new guy/girl" is. Or she doesn't want to train a new employee and has decided to mess with OP until OP asks for a new person to shadow.

I guess she's from District 9... or more likely she's just kidding

Don't worry; most cannibal tribes only eat a tiny bit of recently deceased family members or buy Gerber's baby food when they get the urge. If she asks for a snack, bring her one or two with the baby's image proeminently displayed.

I didn't realize Gerber made human flesh baby food...

#15, a lot of 3rd world countries with low literacy rates have a general practice of making product labels with pictures of the product's contents. That way you can know what's inside without the use of reading skills. So when big western brands like Gerber come in and sell jars with pictures of chubby faced infants on the front, the locals freak out because it looks like Gerber is trying to say the product is made out of babies.

I'm guessing you're also a cultural anthropologist.

I think her favorite restaurant is the morgue

Now I want to open a restaurant called the morgue.

Same. We can make it a successful 5 star restaurant too

Keep your fingers and toes away from her mouth!

She's probably just fucking with you and if not, it's probably an ancient tradition no longer practiced. Pretty sure that's a crime.

Ummmm........ isn't it illegal to have human flesh? Tribal tradition or not, cannibalism is illegal in America.

Believe it or not, no, there are no laws against cannibalism itself. There is no law outlining specifically "the act of cannibalism is illegal." However, when cannibalism is committed, it's charged with other things, desecration of a corpse, and usually murder, because that often accompanies cannibalism.

It's actually legal to have flesh, but illegal to eat it. :P

oh, he already made America great again