Today, I was approached by a police officer who instructed me to move because I was "threatening the elderly". I was sitting on a park bench in front of an old folks home. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was once again escorted out of a supermarket by a police officer. I must be the only 83-year-old who still has his marbles, but people always assume I am senile and wandering from a care center. FML
Today, I was sitting on a bench outside a supermarket waiting to be picked up, when a old lady walked out of the shop. She hadn't noticed me and sat on the bench beside me. She looked around and saw me, rolled her eyes, got up and moved to a different bench. FML
Today, I saw an elderly woman struggling to reach the top shelf in my local grocery store, so I went over and asked if she needed help. She then accused me of flirting with her and had me escorted from the property. FML
Today, at the park, a woman asked if I could watch her toddler for a second while she ran to the bathroom. Before I could answer, she ran off. Ten minutes later, a police officer approached me because someone reported a "man lurking with a child." I’m a woman. And not the babysitter. FML
Today, while life-guarding in a 55+ community, I greeted a man by saying "Good morning Sir!" He responded with, "Cut the shit kid, I'm not that fucking old." FML
Today, I shouted, "Fuck off!" out of reflex when I felt someone behind me grab my bag and pull it off my shoulder. It turned out to be an elderly man with a walking stick, who was trying to steady himself in a busy crowd. FML
Today, I stopped and helped a young lady stuck on the side of the road. Guess who got accused of forcing myself and got charged with impersonating a police officer. FML
Today, I got harassed and screamed at by a middle-aged man for parking in a spot close to the store, because he wanted the same spot so he didn't have to walk so far with his groceries. He took a photo and vowed to report me to the authorities. FML
Today, I was at the mall, when I saw an elderly lady drop her groceries, so I rushed over to help her pick them up. She took one look at me, called me a "Liberal bastard," and shouted for me to get away from her before she called the cops. FML
Today, I was threatened with arrest for refusing to accept a citation for having a dog off leash in a park. It wasn’t my fucking dog! It was a very friendly stray that started following me on my morning walk. I tried to explain myself but the dog wouldn’t leave my side or stop barking at the cop. FML
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Top comments
sup_bitch 0
damn u ugly
hidingmaster 2
Get off our lawn! Damn kids!
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Comments (156)
mockingjay_fml 0
there's probably something you aren't telling is ...
wakeNmakePIZZA 0
ugh I have some great comments for this but they don't allow racism on fml :(
Skatejock21 0
Well... did you know what the elderly were seeing and thinking? No. You clearly just looked threatening, because sometimes threatening people do exactly what you did; sit on a park bench outside the old folks home waiting for prey, and given the rate of elderly abuse, they probably assumed you to be a threat. However, although you didn't deserve it, you should probably never sit in front of an old folks home again for your own sake.
some1azn 0
Just tell them you were bird watching. A rare bird just happened to land on top of the place, and you had binoculars. :D
tona01 16
you were probably wearing your rapist glasses, with your pedophile beard, your public offender drenchcoat and sitting next to your serial killer van
AnynomousPerson 0
Were you jacking off?
supawoman_fml 8
that doesnt make any sence
susie_spiff 0
think of it this way. you're not looking like a old folks stalker no longer. you should be proud.
kiesha 3
I guess the elderly we're intimidated. :/
Magnimus 4
Don't they have a constitution in Canada? Well anyways, Canadian fascist pigs are the nicest fascist pigs, because they are more polite than the average fascist pig.