Today, I walk into my grandma's house after having a fabulous lunch with a few friends. The first thing I hear is "Be a dear and help me change my colostomy bag." I lost that fabulous lunch. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I offered to drive my girlfriend's grandpa to the doctor. I thus learned my girlfriend's grandfather has a colostomy bag when it burst all over the inside of my truck. FML
Today, I was confiding in my grandma about how lonely I am and how everything in my life seems to be falling apart. While I was in mid-sentence, she rolled her eyes and made a show of removing her hearing aid. FML
Today, I went out to a nice restaurant for my friend's birthday. I went to the bathroom and heard the woman in the other stall crying. She couldn't pull her underwear up over her obese, old-lady ass because her arms don't reach that far anymore. I was the only one there. I had no choice. FML
Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML
Today, I was finally having a conversation with my granny, who I don't get to see often. First thing she tells me was that she was going to have surgery soon, because her "women's insides" were "dangling out." FML
Today, I went shopping with my grandma. She went to the bathroom and was gone for a long while. I jokingly asked, "What happened, you fall in?" She did. She had shit all over the back of her shirt. FML
Today, after months of cooking breakfast, lunch, and dinner for my husband's grandmother due to her getting a hip replacement, I overheard her calling me a whore over the phone from the next room. FML
Today, I walked into my house to find everyone sitting around the table and looking sad. I thought it would be a good time to crack a joke and said, "What's wrong? Grandma finally die?" Turns out she had. FML
Today, I had to cancel my plans to go see my grandma, because I wasn't feeling too well. I called her to apologize, but she had trouble remembering who I was. When I told her my name, she said "Oh, the FAT one." Yes grandma, the fat one. FML
Today, my grandma called me to see how my oral surgery went. She gave me a kiss over the phone, but when I tried to make the kiss sound back to her, the bandages got in the way and it came out as a fart sound. FML
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Top comments
nanaprincess 7
quit whining. she obviously needed your help. grow up.
KELSEYJOHNSON23 5
She was probably embarrassed to ask you for help too, I'm sure she wasn't excited about it either.
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Comments (120)
weepingangel_fml 7
I want fabulous; that is my simple request.
davab 0
A 'fabulous' lunch? I wonder why your granny doesn't add a fml for her wannabe popular grandchild
iMagzzzy 0
Ignorant ****.
wriptidez 0
does she have an in home nurse
baseballgirl2100 0
Shes your grandmother for Gods sake, enjoy having her around while she lives... time dont slow down just for you! She loves you and probably changed your diaper aton! Suck it up!!!
canuc 1
As a nurse, none of you can say anything against OP. I don't care how much you love your grandmother, until you have smelled a colostomy bag, shut up. Not even the stinkiest diaper can top that smell. You don't even know.
ShyAnn29 15
I do know, it's not really that bad, there are a lot of worse things!
Sarah81497 3
You are a good person.
jlperry31 10
oh u poor baby. whatever. how about u think how embarrassing it must be to have your spouse change your shit/piss bag for u everyday just be thankful u dont have to go thru that everyday
autumnleighf 0
yew shooold beeee ahhhhshamedddd off yerselfffffff bahhhhd bahhddddd purrrsonnn! wtf erryone where's the "that's a shitty situation" comments, I'm being deprived.
Battle765 4
I have a colostomy and ask people to help change it all the time just to see what they say. If they say no I burp it around them later man up OP.
ShyAnn29 15
My mom used to help me change mine, but I now change it by myself! That's funny you burp your bag around people! The funny thing is, when someone farts, you know it wasn't you! Lol
spanishottie45 0
You should be lucky you even have a grandmother to go to... Most of don't have one or any... So why dont you suck it up and deal with it!>.