Health: Today, I used my AA handbook as a beer coaster. FML

By Raprotcommander - 07/02/2011 15:47 - United States

Today, I used my AA handbook as a beer coaster. FML

agreeclassic 12 303

vote type 1 54 325

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By Anonymous - 20/02/2016 14:19 - United States - Abington

Today, my father used my birth certificate as a beer coaster. Accident or not, it pretty much perfectly sums up our relationship. FML

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By dypshyyt - 22/07/2014 23:20 - United States

Today, I went to my weekly AA meeting. It was a huge crowd and I was the guest speaker. Not 5 minutes into my speech, I was booed off stage and banned from further attendance because I accidentally wore a Jack Daniel's shirt. FML

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Thanks for the memories

By louise - 25/05/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I bought a cutting board at a Dollar Store that had a helpful kitchen guide printed on it. It was supposed to list “liquid conversions” but instead said “liquid conversations.” My husband quipped that it reminded him of me in college. I'm a recovering alcoholic. FML

agreeclassic 314

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By ash - 25/08/2011 22:57 - United States

Today, I had to admit that I'm an alcoholic when I spent my last dollar bills on Southern Comfort instead of tampons. FML

agreeclassic 11 110

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Need beer now

By Jensen - 16/07/2021 07:01 - United States - Hoffman Estates

Today, I went kayaking with some friends, and I had an empty beer can dedicated to throwing cigarette butts in. After running out of beer, I took a big swig from the only can in my kayak. Twice. FML

agreeclassic 234

vote type 1 1 458

By geeb - 23/02/2010 18:33 - United States

Today, I had to confess to my mother that I was too hungover to take her to her AA meeting. FML

agreeclassic 9 601

vote type 1 36 526

By notalcoholic - 09/12/2009 05:29 - Philippines

Today, my roommate gave me a self-help book on alcoholism for my birthday. He's an alcoholic. I gave him that book around 8 months ago. FML

agreeclassic 28 080

vote type 1 5 216

By Anonymous - 23/11/2016 16:58

Today, I bumped into my English teacher at an AA meeting. FML

agreeclassic 9 487

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By KyngJulian - 23/04/2013 02:48 - United States

Today, I found out I was an alcoholic. Not from my friends or family, but because the ice-maker couldn't keep up with the amount of drinks I've been making. FML

agreeclassic 35 704

vote type 1 19 735

By Anonymous - 18/05/2017 20:00

Today, the water was shut off, so I had to wash down my anti convulsants, anti depressants and sleep aids with an old, flat, non-alcoholic beer from the night before. I don't think I've ever had a more mentally dysfunctional cocktail. FML

agreeclassic 3 768

vote type 1 734

zack12255 0

Monday 7 February 2011 18:51

not working for you huh?

mmmskittles 3

Monday 7 February 2011 18:53

it's the beer's fault. must've snuck into your house while you were out busy.

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dickgamestrong 9

Wednesday 3 August 2016 20:41

if this isn't some sort of sick joke, YDI. you have everything you need to quit.

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Today, I woke up fully clothed, trying to remember the night's events. I walk to the den to awkwardly ask my dad for a ride to my car and he points to the computer. A pic of me passed out on the bathroom floor is now our new wallpaper. My skirt was around my knees. He sent it to everyone we know. FML

agreeclassic 40 016

vote type 1 25 930

Today, I went to a date with a girl I thought liked me. We sat down at a restaurant, ordered some food and started talking. After 30 minutes, she said with a sigh of relief, "THANK GOD! There's my dad. Now I can leave. Bye, thanks for the dinner." The food hadn't even arrived yet. FML

agreeclassic 64 718

vote type 1 4 615

Today, after I hooked up with a guy the other night and we had lots of fun, (or so I thought), I woke up to a text saying, “I feel worthless and disgusting after having sex.” He said he was a virgin and he’s a Christian. FML

agreeclassic 1 067

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Today, I discovered that the wintergreen breath mints I've been taking for a week now, are actually circular, flavored, white and green laxatives. FML

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Today, I found out the reason my crush has been talking so openly to me. Not because she likes me back, but because she thinks I'm gay. FML

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Today, after weeks of being up nights to hand feed nine puppies, I, an insomniac, finally got to sleep during the day, which isn't easy for me, only to be woken by my partner asking me a stupid question that was unimportant, then made to feel like a jerk for being angry. I'm now stuck awake, pissed. FML

agreeclassic 829

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Thanks for the memories

Need beer now

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