Health: Today, I twisted my knee while cutting firewood with my grandpa....

By fuckoffgramps - 24/01/2016 17:10 - United States - New Freedom

Today, I twisted my knee while cutting firewood with my grandpa. The pain was so crippling, I fell over screaming. His response? "Quit your bitching, I had my kneecaps blown off in Vietnam. They had to stitch 'em back on." He's never been to Vietnam, or even out of the country. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 561

You deserved it 2 262

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Randall - 25/01/2011 07:28 - United States

Today, my uncle had a flashback to Vietnam. I'm now missing a tooth and have a cracked rib. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 629

You deserved it 3 431

By Notpunny - 18/04/2016 22:58 - United States - Silver Spring

Today, while making small talk with a veteran, I made the mistake of using the phrase "Cost an arm and a leg". He was a double amputee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 186

You deserved it 7 842

Toxic masculinity

By Anonymous - 21/04/2022 18:00

Today, my great-grandfather had his arm blown off in the army and used the splintered bone to stab an enemy soldier, and got a goddamn medal for it, and yet I just watched my grown-ass son squealing like a bitch for over 10 minutes because he got a splinter in his toe. How far we’ve fallen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 1 023

By MarBlu - 23/01/2014 12:53 - United States

Today, I came home from the army and explained to my family how tough it was there. Then, as I was walking away, I stubbed my toe on the couch, fell and cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 624

You deserved it 16 444

By KilteDKilleR - 15/10/2011 14:02 - United States

Today, I went to visit my grandpa. He has an easily excited dog, who barreled into my freshly broken knee. I felt my knee move out of place again. The dog chipped a tooth. We went to the vet first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 694

You deserved it 3 131

Unbelievable

By Anonymous - 15/08/2013 17:39 - Spain - Mon?var

Today, I slipped and fell down the stairs, landing hard on my knee. Through my screams of agony, my mom accused me of exaggerating the pain, and said I was just being an attention seeker, before finally taking me to hospital. I was told my leg was broken. She refused to apologize. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 977

You deserved it 3 450

By HotCurry - 05/09/2009 04:57 - United States

Today, my girlfriend, her grandma, and I were leaving her house to eat lunch. I stubbed my toe on the door while exiting. It hurt, so I stood there shortly in pain. I heard my girlfriend's grandma call me a "pansy". I later saw blood and took off my shoe. My whole toenail had come off of my big toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 158

You deserved it 3 526

It hurts

By dogbait - 14/02/2010 05:07 - France

Today, my neighbor's dog bit me, it was extremely painful. The gash in my leg was deep and bleeding like crazy. When I finally got into my house screaming in agonizing pain, my mother said "Quit bitching, walk it off and you'll be fine." My leg is purple now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 056

You deserved it 3 344

By Anonymous - 25/12/2010 07:08 - United States

Today, I was wrapping Christmas presents for my family. I got a huge paper cut on the webbing of my fingers, the pain of which caused me to scream out loud. My whole family heard and came rushing to my room. My grandma took one look, and scoffed, "Oh suck it the fuck up, princess." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 846

You deserved it 30 089

By Jopes - 10/05/2009 12:44 - United States

Today, I cut down a dead tree in my yard. The top hit the ground and the base seesawed up in the air and came down on my head. I hit the ground like a sack of flour. Fortunately, the wood was rotted and soft. Unfortunately, the chainsaw was still running. 28 stitches in my calf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 705

You deserved it 13 709

vicfirthfan 11

Monday 25 January 2016 0:16

that's what the government wants you to think

Tyrex26 6

Monday 25 January 2016 0:31

I doubt one could stitch back on their kneecaps. That's not how legs work.

Comments

LifelessStars 22

Monday 25 January 2016 0:46

You got to love old people's imagination.

Ilsontfous 3

Monday 25 January 2016 0:48

He meant Vietnam the asian bar down the street

dannidoll93 24

Monday 25 January 2016 0:57

Pfft. That's nothing, I had my shoulders sliced off at the battle of Hastings and they had to use Uhu glue to put me back together. Your grandad sounds like a pussy. Feel better soon OP

moocowmilk0 19

Monday 25 January 2016 1:08

I don't think kneecaps can be stiched back on

BloopBlahp 6

Monday 25 January 2016 1:18

Omg that's happened to me before. I feel you, OP

Bekll 31

Monday 25 January 2016 1:30

Is his name Cotton Hill?

natas_fml 13

Monday 25 January 2016 6:20

I killed fiddy men!

katina1236 20

Monday 25 January 2016 1:51

Your grandfather doesn't seem very sympathetic, I guess it's just because he's from another time. I have bad knees and I understand the pain you felt op. Get better soon :)

PePziNL 20

Monday 25 January 2016 2:00

"Quit your bitching, I didn't fight in Vietnam for little ******* like you to cry all the time!" "But grandpa, you didn't go to Vietnam." "Yeah, that's what I said right?"