Today, I took my girlfriend to her ex-boyfriend's apartment for her to exchange his spare car keys for some of her grandmother's items. I waited outside in the parking lot for an hour, with no idea which door was his. She came out no longer a virgin. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I went to my ex-girlfriend's house to bring her her stuff back. We broke up earlier this week after a two year relationship, and I'd hoped she would've realized her mistake and ask me to stay for a bit and talk. I rang the doorbell and her new boyfriend opened the door. FML
Today, after months of working on our relationship, my ex asked to borrow my car. After many hours and phone calls to see where he was, he still wasn't back. I decided to check my car's GPS and found him at my friend's house. He tried to deny that it was her house, when I've been there multiple times. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house so that he could break up with me. I went out to my car to leave only to discover that all of the wheels had been stolen. Even the spare. I had to spend the rest of the day with my ex-boyfriend finding a way to get my car home. FML
Today, my girlfriend left for basic training. I went to say goodbye to her at the airport. Only after I walked back to my car did I realize that she still had the keys. My extra set was back at the house, locked in. FML
Today, I changed the locks on my apartment so my crazy ex girlfriend couldn't get in. I went to her house to return her house key. I accidentally gave her the key to my new locks, and can't find her old house key. Now I need her to come let me in to my own house. FML
Today, my girlfriend hid my car keys and decided that she wouldn't give them back until I succeeded in giving her an orgasm. FML
Today, I drove my ex-boyfriend home from dropping his car at the garage for new tires. On the way, I drove past my house where my boyfriend was sitting in the driveway ready to surprise me. My boyfriend watched us drive by. FML
Today, my ex-girlfriend called me say she needed her car repaired. I fixed it as fast as I could so she could get back on her way, only to find out she’s on her way to my friend's place to have her guts rearranged. FML
Today, I went to egg my ex-boyfriend's house, after finding out he cheated on me. I covered his house and car with eggs, toilet paper, and silly string. When I went to get back in my car, my keys were locked inside, the alarm went off, and my ex walked outside, with his new girlfriend. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were wondering whose extra spare key was on the counter when we came home. Turns out it's his ex's and she returned it, while neither of us were home. We're still taking inventory to see what's missing. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
syki 22
That's a hell of a magic trick.
MenacingMe 17
The value of virginity certainly isn't what it used to be, but damn, that sucks. You were doing your girlfriend a service, trusting her enough to do this, and she walks out of someone's apartment with her cherry popped. I hope you didn't let that slide.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (88)
syki 22
That's a hell of a magic trick.
Yastafari 16
early bird catches the worm?
moondoglou420 17
This comment deserves a slow clap...
zman938 8
You deserve more dislikes
dragoongirl90 34
More like this comment deserves a slow slap.
MenacingMe 17
The value of virginity certainly isn't what it used to be, but damn, that sucks. You were doing your girlfriend a service, trusting her enough to do this, and she walks out of someone's apartment with her cherry popped. I hope you didn't let that slide.
sonasonic 34
I hope she got what she deserved... two exes and no ride home.
ThrottleJockey 36
And a VD.
Nyattack 14
This isn't even really about virginity, this is about her cheating on him, when he was like 50 meters away to top it off !
ExastirisDragon 22
And waiting, to add.
withered 30
#3 of course the value of virginity isn't what is used to be because society is more developed than it used to be. People realize more than women also like sex and women aren't taught anymore to "wait until marriage" for "the one" and more and more people know they should enjoy sex if they want to do so. Not that this is the point of this FML.
dno79 19
lose her
tosdyke 16
The items she wanted back literally lost her ass on!
cacheson 42
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I'm imagining you knowing on site that she wasn't a virgin, with magical aura-seeing eyes the minute she walked out the door. Pointing, in a booming voice: "YOU are no longer a virgin! I SEE ALL!!!"
Unlucky1232 20
virgin vision! so.... think i can borrow that from OP :)
HugoMew 10
They probably talked about it and that was his way of phrasing it
Unlucky1232 20
#44 NO! clearly that couldn't of happened. OP MUST have virgin vision.
freddygasman 18
Maybe dot matrix was with them and her virgin alarm was going off. (space balls reference)
CrazyJay16 5
#59 nice reference ? I'm proud to say my 13 year old brother got that ??
LPac5295 27
That's terrible. I hope she's your ex girlfriend now OP.
thejokingguy13 12
Dude I would have waited 15 min, if she hadn't come put by then, then you know what's happening. That is when you shout " **** you (insert girls name)" then leave. But yeah that sucks so do yourself a favour and don't give her a second chance
zeffra13 31
If it took longer than 15 minutes, I'd assume they were arguing because the ex didn't want to give her the stuff back, or just wanted to yell at her.
Aethereal 14
A more logical conclusion would have been a disagreement or difficulty locating some of the items... Making premature assumptions like that is an easy way to make an accidental ass out of yourself.
askullnamedbilly 33
My best friend once left me standing outside her ex boyfriend's house for almost 30 minutes after we went there together to drop off the backpack he'd left at her place. I'm 100% sure she didn't sleep with him, at least judging by the pissed off looks on both of their faces after she finally managed to get out of there. Apparently he'd wanted to 'talk things out' and convince her to get back together after he'd previously told her she had no heart and would die alone. Long story short: It is actually possible to spend more than 15 minutes with your ex without magically finding yourself sitting on top of his dick.
thejokingguy13 12
Guys and gals who have responded, 15 min was just the first amount of time that popped into my head
Stuffaluffagus 25
Sorry but your girlfriend is a ho
kafka13 9
a ho? she was a virgin for god sake
midnightm16 24
@17 A virgin who ****** someone other than her boyfriend.
InfiniteSunshine 32
The fact that she was a virgin, doesn't make her any less of a ho. I know ho is often used to refer to a people with many sexual partners, but I personally use those slurs, not in reference to how many people a person sleeps with, cause I could care less about that because really, it hurts no one as long as they're responsible. And more towards the actions a person has in regards to sleeping with people. The girlfriend in this case is not a ho based on her number of sexual partners, but because she had sex with her ex while her boyfriend was right outside. She's a ho for being a terrible cheater.
Dale_shackleford 13
Most eloquent use of "ho" I have ever seen.
J2424 1
****** up haha someone would have been catching a fade in that mofo