Today, I took my girlfriend to her ex-boyfriend's apartment for her to exchange his spare car keys for some of her grandmother's items. I waited outside in the parking lot for an hour, with no idea which door was his. She came out no longer a virgin. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I went to my ex-girlfriend's house to bring her her stuff back. We broke up earlier this week after a two year relationship, and I'd hoped she would've realized her mistake and ask me to stay for a bit and talk. I rang the doorbell and her new boyfriend opened the door. FML
Today, after months of working on our relationship, my ex asked to borrow my car. After many hours and phone calls to see where he was, he still wasn't back. I decided to check my car's GPS and found him at my friend's house. He tried to deny that it was her house, when I've been there multiple times. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house so that he could break up with me. I went out to my car to leave only to discover that all of the wheels had been stolen. Even the spare. I had to spend the rest of the day with my ex-boyfriend finding a way to get my car home. FML
Today, my girlfriend left for basic training. I went to say goodbye to her at the airport. Only after I walked back to my car did I realize that she still had the keys. My extra set was back at the house, locked in. FML
Today, I changed the locks on my apartment so my crazy ex girlfriend couldn't get in. I went to her house to return her house key. I accidentally gave her the key to my new locks, and can't find her old house key. Now I need her to come let me in to my own house. FML
Today, my girlfriend hid my car keys and decided that she wouldn't give them back until I succeeded in giving her an orgasm. FML
Today, I drove my ex-boyfriend home from dropping his car at the garage for new tires. On the way, I drove past my house where my boyfriend was sitting in the driveway ready to surprise me. My boyfriend watched us drive by. FML
Today, my ex-girlfriend called me say she needed her car repaired. I fixed it as fast as I could so she could get back on her way, only to find out she’s on her way to my friend's place to have her guts rearranged. FML
Today, I went to egg my ex-boyfriend's house, after finding out he cheated on me. I covered his house and car with eggs, toilet paper, and silly string. When I went to get back in my car, my keys were locked inside, the alarm went off, and my ex walked outside, with his new girlfriend. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were wondering whose extra spare key was on the counter when we came home. Turns out it's his ex's and she returned it, while neither of us were home. We're still taking inventory to see what's missing. FML
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Top comments
syki 22
That's a hell of a magic trick.
MenacingMe 17
The value of virginity certainly isn't what it used to be, but damn, that sucks. You were doing your girlfriend a service, trusting her enough to do this, and she walks out of someone's apartment with her cherry popped. I hope you didn't let that slide.
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Comments (88)
ChrisMora 16
Ex-girlfriend*
CyberPsycho 21
Dispose of her.
that_guy31 12
dump her... now
WriterB 3
All that matters at this point is that you dumped her. Please tell us you did.
Frau_Blucher 14
How sickening :( She better be dumped!
AndronicusPark 10
Reeeeeeeeeeeebounnd!
freddygasman 18
You should serenade her with a classic Ray Charles song as she's coming back to the car. I don't know, maybe"Hit the road Jack. "
darkangel7410 17
Not gonna lie i'd have left her there. That is some bullshit.
Etdeon18 3
All these people talking about how bad of a person she is but all I can think about is why you didn't go inside with her
emo_tech 5
BUT DID SHE EVER GET HER GRANDMAS ITEMS!?!?!?!?!?!?