Today, I took a shower and right after I fell asleep on my bed wrapped in my towel. I awoke to find my dad slapping me in the face. He thought I had fainted because I'm a diabetic. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I walked into my bathroom, only to find my dad passed out on the floor with his pants around his ankles. FML
Today, I blacked out while hugging my dad. I woke up a minute later on the floor with my dad telling me to, "quit being lazy and get up." FML
Today, I passed out when my blood sugar dropped. Three times. And each time, my roommate, who was right next to me, just let me fall because he liked the way my face looked. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML
Today, my mom woke me up and asked if I wanted breakfast. I had passed out naked on the kitchen floor after a party. FML
Today, while relaxing in the kitchen drinking coffee, my dad suddenly rushed in, knocking me over and causing me to spill boiling hot coffee all over myself. Then, my dad thought it would be a good idea to grab the sprayer from the sink and douse me with cold water in order to "put me out." FML
Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom, only to find my dad sitting on the toilet, blind drunk. He screamed "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" at me. I just wanted to shave. FML
Today, I fell in the shower and knocked myself out. When I came to I turned off the water and called my mom. She seemed more worried about the amount of water I "wasted" than she was about me. FML
Today, my dad had a seizure just after taking his anti-seizure medicine and having been seizure-free for two and a half months. Did I mention I was pooping while my poor dad was having this? I ran out with my pants around my ankles, due to my stepmom flipping out, screaming at me to find the phone (which she found). FML
Today, my dad decided to take his medicine before eating. He passed out with his face in a plate of chocolate cake. He wasn't responsive so I called the paramedics. When he got to the hospital, the doctor asked him if he knew why he was there. He replied, "Because my stupid daughter overreacted." FML
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Top comments
MissEmma_fml 22
unlucky. fair point though. he only cares
NattG17 0
What's wrong with that? He was concerned.
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Comments (121)
hiddydiddy 0
YDI for taking showers.
gigilvrs6 0
So what's the FML here???
ImaginaryFoe 1
I'm guessing it is that she has a handprint on her face. It wouldn't bother you the tiniest bit to have someone smack you across the face while you're sleeping?
abezzy 0
hey catherine, were u from
zach5432 3
she's not from anywhere near you... trying to pick up a girl over fml.... fail
abezzy 0
no, y u say that
ahhnonomhisdude 0
It looks as though there are a lot of people on here that are jealous of you OP. They wish their daddy cared enough to slap the shit out of them. FYL for being diabetic.
ScrabbleBabe2010 0
Not a FYL at all.
Horde 8
dude, send a private message
elainelovesyou 7
How is it a FML if he cares about you?
rocquefort 0
this is not a fml, im sure it was annoyinh but anyway. you should be happy he takes care of you