Today, I thought I was home alone. Likewise, my visiting grandfather thought he was alone. You can imagine the mutual surprise when I caught him stealing money from my sister's bedroom. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to pay my grandma a visit. She called the cops because she didn't recognize me and thought I was a robber. FML
Today, I went to visit a friend I hadn't seen in ages who lives alone out in the country. I arrived and found the front door unlocked but no one was home. I went in anyway and helped myself to some food. Then a family I had never seen before came in, and I realized it wasn't my friend's house. FML
Today, I came home from work to find my grandmother in my living room, demanding to know where I'd been all day. I'm 22 and live by myself. She stole my mother's emergency key to get in. FML
Today, I realized I was happy because we finally started having friends come visit us after months of not having company. I also realized that our secret stash of money was stolen last night while we had company. FML
Today, I caught my sister taking money from my wallet. When I confronted her, she claimed that she was actually putting back money that she had stolen earlier. She doesn't understand the irony. FML
Today, I slipped money into my mother's purse after she refused to let me pay for lunch. She caught me in the act and thought I was stealing money from her instead. FML
Today, being the nice grandchild that I am, I went to visit my grandmother. She didn't recognise who I was. I thought she was joking. She later called the police as, "Some weirdo had walked into her house." I'm that weirdo; she wasn't joking. FML
Today, I was so ashamed of being broke that instead of asking my parents for money, I snuck into their house while they were at work to steal some of their food. FML
Today, while at my friend's house, I decided to climb up on a shelf and pounce on him when he came back downstairs. When I heard someone coming, I assumed it was him and pounced. It was his grandma carrying the laundry. FML
Today, my grandma calls me, accusing me of theft. I was home all day and watching Orange Is The New Black. When I asked what I stole, she said her car keys. I don’t even have my license. I told her to look in her purse. She found them. FML
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Top comments
PimpdaddyCJT 13
Old people are so devious nowadays! Can't trust them! Did you say something about it to him or anyone else?
perdix 31
You should just be thankful that you didn't walk in on him masturbating. Your sister can always get more money, but you can never un-see the old fart beating it like it owed him money.
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Comments (62)
paramor3 23
How big is this house?!?!
Californialuvv 7
lovely family.
chosha_fml 27
Hope he split it with you.
kittybaby01 10
At least it wasn't yours.
The_9th_Doctor 18
tar and feather him
KamronMk 11
I thought at first you caught him naked