Miscellaneous: Today, I thought I felt something itch my butt as I sat down...

By lingadoo - 07/12/2012 05:46 - Kuwait - Kuwait

Today, I thought I felt something itch my butt as I sat down on the toilet. Sure it was just my imagination, I did my business. When I was done I saw there were 4 cockroaches crawling under the seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 057

You deserved it 4 849

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Same thing different taste

Freakout

By DisgustingCreatures - 04/08/2016 18:53 - United States - Houston

Today, I was peacefully using the toilet when I heard a familiar crunching sound behind me. After shooting up and frantically looking around, I hesitantly closed the toilet lid - just in time to see a black cockroach slip into a crevice of the toilet. The thing was close enough to go up my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 604

You deserved it 1 160

By Whyis Dremora - 30/09/2018 15:00 - United States - San Marcos

Today, I was abruptly woken by a scratching at my butthole that felt like a spider with a million legs. I've never leapt out of bed so fast. When my partner shined a light on the bed, we discovered it was a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 822

You deserved it 287

By dire-rear - 16/01/2010 20:19 - Singapore

Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 085

You deserved it 3 651

By all5fingers - 08/09/2011 05:23 - Canada

Today, I was playing my guitar and felt something like an itch under my foot, so I attempted to scratch it by rubbing against the floor. The big cockroach made a very distinct "crunch". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 617

You deserved it 3 243

Sticky situation

By Anonymous - 24/07/2022 06:00

Today, at work, I thought I had to fart, but didn’t trust it. I squeezed cheek and hurried to the bathroom. As I was sitting down, liquid shot out of my butthole and got on the seat. I then sat in it. On top of, that I saw a spider crawl out of my underwear. The spider bothers me more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 880

You deserved it 187

Night visitor

By Anonymous - 08/11/2021 14:00 - New Zealand

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to go pee. While in the bathroom, I felt something move inside my shirt but just ignored it, thinking it was my shirt brushing on something. Something moved again. I ripped my shirt off to reveal a massive cockroach inside my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 380

You deserved it 138

By spiderwoman - 04/11/2012 17:12 - Iceland - Reykjav

Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 723

You deserved it 13 564

By Anonymous - 04/03/2012 22:20 - Canada

Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 429

You deserved it 4 355

By Anonymous - 21/12/2013 21:50 - United States - Wexford

Today, I thought it was a good idea to flush the stink bug I found in my kitchen. Later I went in the bathroom to take a crap, and next thing I know, I feel a stink bug on my privates. I guess it didn't flush after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 010

You deserved it 8 718

By funyfunkid - 22/12/2009 19:18 - United States

Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny to pee on it. It jumped out, which scared me; I hit my head on the wall and started bleeding, then I peed all over me and the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 134

You deserved it 47 916

aloring 14

Friday 7 December 2012 12:28

If I feel something on my butt I usually stand back up and look at it. Sure it could have been imagination but better safe than sorry..

DocBastard 38

Friday 7 December 2012 12:35

Now we know that cockroaches can survive a nuclear war AND the smell of your ass.

Comments

FelicityWishes 32

Friday 7 December 2012 14:07

That makes me cringe! Poor you! :(

jayrj22 4

Friday 7 December 2012 14:33

I would have died and ran out like no tomorrow!!! Thats crazy!

Lionesse 15

Friday 7 December 2012 14:40

Raid time.... Even then, the Raid spray won't kill them sometimes.. Cockroaches are stubborn bastards..

sarafyna2011 6

Friday 7 December 2012 15:16

You are lucky that they were just roaches ! The most black widow bites happen on the butt, but just thinking about this gives me the creeps !

Jester1988 3

Friday 7 December 2012 15:36

black widows like to hide in/behind toilets. i always check lol.

FelicityWishes 32

Friday 7 December 2012 23:03

That's why I always check as well.

lmbachman 23

Friday 7 December 2012 15:37

My question is: was this your own bathroom??

flysniper77 6

Friday 7 December 2012 16:12

Read this just as I started my dump..

CrackC 5

Friday 7 December 2012 16:49

Thats ****** gross!!

Zebediabolical 39

Friday 7 December 2012 16:55

YDI, OP, but only because you didn't look when you felt something tickle your ass. Just think, next time it could be a sewer rat. Or an albino sewer alligator!