Today, I started my new job at a haunted house. I figured I'd change clothes when I got home, since my bloody shirt and zombie makeup were blatantly just an outfit. I barely made it 10 minutes before I was pinned to the ground at gunpoint, cuffed, and needing new underwear. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, it's my first day working the graveyard shift at a local hotel. My new boss thought it would be hilarious to sneak up behind me while dressed like the Grim Reaper. I screamed like a little girl and soaked my pants. Apparently he does this to all the new people. FML
Today, I was working a haunted house. I have a really good spot where I hide and scare people. This really hot guy was walking up, and I jumped out and screamed. He punched me in the face. FML
Today, l was crouched on the ground in the doorway at a haunted mansion. It's part of my job here to scare the people passing by. A 12 year-old girl walked by, I grabbed her leg, and she kicked me in the face. FML
Today, on my first day at my new job delivering pizzas, I got bit by a guy dressed as Dracula. FML
Today, I was working as a clown (Pennywise) in a haunted maze. A bunch of drunk guys came in and started breaking props. I decided to stay still and follow through with the scare. I ended up getting kicked in a very sensitive area. The security guard just laughed. FML
Today, I was walking home from my acting gig at a haunted hayride. Even after spending lots of time washing the fake blood off my hands and face, I looked like I'd murdered someone. Perhaps that's why an officer stopped me and questioned me about a stabbing that happened earlier tonight. FML
Today, I was trying on clothes in a store that had just screens set up for changing. As I took off the first pair of pants had I tried on, my foot got hooked in the cuff and I fell out in my underwear in front of the whole store. FML
Today, I was walking to my friend's Halloween themed birthday party in my zombie costume. Apparently, my crazy coke addicted neighbor found the costume too realistic. He tackled me. FML
Today, while working an early shift, I was dressing a wound on a gorgeous guy, when he laughed and pointed out some granny panties next to me on the floor. I guess I forgot to take yesterday's underwear out of my pants before putting them back on this morning. FML
Today, I was working at Chuck-E-Cheese. If that isn't enough, I was put in the mouse costume. Due to the disgusting hot smell and atmosphere in the costume, I fainted in front of a birthday party. I awoke to a little boy screaming who then kicked me in the face and ran. FML
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Top comments
ChloeRattlehead 22
Well, we know now that we can trust those cops to save us during the apocalypse.
oyeh 19
I thought they were supposed to teach Common Sense at the academy? Guess they forgot too.
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Comments (93)
Meanmommy02 11
I've done the walk home in all kinds of makeup never had a problem. Worked at a haunted house for years. Granted it was sept-oct. Even went out to eat no complaints or police issues. Sorry op.
rukalove22 6
Have you no idea how to use your costume to your advantage? i would walk home scaring every single person i ran into! Learn to scare good!
DA3Z 16
So you are covered in blood and look like a zombie, yet the police assume you are a criminal not a victim?
Thorzix 23
#'murica
Cringey 18
"Protect and Serve"
Warnerro 18
ur black right?
skepijohnson 11
Why do you work at a haunted house in June when Halloween is in october?
BoxFullOfLazy 25
I was thinking to post the same thing. Maybe OP works at an amusement park?
messymessiah 11
That's a dumb police officer right there. Sorry OP. I hope this new makes up for it. I reckon I would love to work at a haunted house.
Sergei_Borodov 0
**** tha police comin' straight from the underground. A young zombie got it bad cuz he brown.
cynthianicole95 9
You could probably sue them for unecessary force. They didn't even question you before making an arrest. I'd look into it, OP.
Starshrek 11
Comment moderated.