Today, I spent thirty minutes in the shower trying to remove "Pierre", a face complete with moustache that my girlfriend drew in sharpie on the tip of my cock. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was messing around on my laptop by drawing on the screen with a marker pen. When it came time to clean it off, it wouldn't budge. Now I have a full beard and mustache etched permanently on my computer screen. FML
Today, my boyfriend requested that I shave my lips so I spent an hour in the shower carefully removing every trace of pubic hair. Turns out he wanted me to shave my moustache, not my carpet. FML
Today, my girlfriends and I got a caricature painting while on a trip in the city. Unfortunately for me, the part of my appearance that the artist decided to exaggerate was my acne. FML
Today, I decided to clean my face of unwanted visitors, and spent my shower popping the pimples on my cheeks. Twenty minutes later, I remembered that I was showering ahead of a date with my girlfriend. My cheeks now look like the crater-filled surface of Mars. FML
Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML
Today, I was laying in bed making out with a girl. After trying to figure out for a while why she was spending so much time on my neck it finally hit me. She was frantically and secretly trying to remove the gum she got stuck in my hair. She failed. FML
Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting frisky. She got my cock out, stopped, and told me it looked like "Rufus the naked mole rat." She spent the next 20 minutes showing me pictures, describing in detail why they looked similar, and laughing. FML
Today, I spent twenty minutes looking in the mirror trying to remove a blackhead from my chin. It was a freckle. FML
Today, after carefully, and might I say, expertly removing all the hair from my girlfriend's genitals, she decided to try and "Nair" my balls. 24 hours later and I still can't walk properly and my balls look like they were involved in a severe kitchen incident. FML
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Top comments
aruam365 24
why the hell would you let anyone near your penis with a sharpie??
gojira666 7
So what...itll cum off eventually
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Comments (253)
AnthonyN 5
Draw a squirrel on her vag then be like "HAA BITCH YOU GOT SQUAIDS"
bitchimawesome 0
use hairspray -.-' lol
ashrandom 0
LMFAO AHAHAHA WOW
maggiewalters 17
GAHAHAHAHA
auddylynne 0
Haha sucks for you. Personally I think it's awesome. So u just let her do that? Lol
decidedlyvague 11
I swear. On every post involving sex or penises, at least half the posts are 12 year old girls talking about the joys of sex and doing dirty things to the op... The ****?
Demonyx 6
Why spend so much time on it? No one but her would see it. You should have made her lick it off or use her insides to clean it off... Thoroughly
otecasacid 22
try some nailpolish remover. it works real good on sharpies
remington5521 0
Why would u let her do that?
wydner31 0
hahahahahahahahahahahaha