Today, I spent the entire day at the hospital and was sent home attached to an obnoxious and somewhat painful heart monitor. I felt fine and decided to go to a bonfire with a few friends. I thought everyone was being nice until I overheard the guys referring to me as an unattractive xbox. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my friends came over to my house to eat my food and make fun of me as they played on my Xbox. FML
Today, while at the hospital recovering from surgery, I overheard my doctor tell one of the nurses I'm so fat I could start a grease fire if left near an open flame. They thought I was still unconscious. I wasn't. FML
Today, I was feeling really sick when I was with my boyfriend at the park. When we were walking, I got really dizzy and collapsed. My boyfriend didn't catch me. His mom took me to the hospital. While I was being poked with needles, he was at home playing COD. FML
Today, my face got intimate with several plywood boards, and I suffered lacerations and bruising. I told my friends I got the wounds from taking a few guys down in a bar fight. Now they're dragging me out into a rough part of town to give them "muscle" while they try to score some crack. FML
Today, a number of people came to visit me in the hospital, including my grandparents. They called me "weak" and "a cowardly millennial" for going to the ER instead of sucking it up, and blamed me for rising healthcare costs. I had a compound fracture. FML
Today, after a three day hospitalization, four weeks of a new heart med, no alcohol and no caffeine, my heart rhythm was finally back on track. That is until some a-hole teens decided that banging loudly on my door and running away was hilarious. Oh well, back to square one. FML
Today, I came home from the hospital diagnosed with high blood pressure. It's caused by stress. My wife had a very long talk with my son about it. All the kid has been doing for the past 2 hours is scream at his Playstation. I'd rather be at the hospital. FML
Today, I was working out at the gym. A very attractive girl was watching me work out, so feeling like a stud, I tried to lift a really heavy weight. I failed, got trapped, and watched helplessly as she walked away laughing. FML
Today, I woke up in the hospital. I had apparently overworked my heart so much that I fainted. What caused it? I was playing a racing game on my Wii and freaked out when I won first place. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's office because I was sick. The male nurse led me back and when he weighed me, he said "Why do I get all the beefy girls today?". FML
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Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
I didn't know Tennessee people were smart enough to operate a Xbox.
skittleface 0
Hey! I've had one of those... My mom told me I looked like Robo-Cop. ]: I feel your pain.
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Comments (60)
blob619 0
I kno what u mean i had open heart surgery when i was 4 days old so every once and a while i gotta do something really obnoxious like have a machine attached to my chest for 24 hours -_-
Joe_gittins 0
Completely agree with point 1. Now I had the same problem with "obnoxious" heart monitor but I looked it up and technically, obnoxious means 'extremely unpleasant' so the use of this word is acceptable. However, I'm not certain but I believe it to be an Americanism of some sort, (I'm British).
Joe_gittins 0
Personally, I have never heard the word 'obnoxious' be used to describe an object and only ever used when referring to people who think highly of themselves, (like me). This very comment is rather obnoxious but I deemed it necessary to look into this matter.
Joe_gittins 0
I do not like the personification of the heart monitor in this circumstance due to the fact that it has been personified in a rather ambiguos way. In conclusion, the Original Poster (I refuse to use 'OP') used the word "obnoxious" correctly but neither myself or yourself are comfortable with this.
Jamesy52 1
I know this is really old but how can a hear monitor be obnoxious?
esb77 8
I have to wear one right now, so I feel your pain. It doesn't hurt, just itches like crazy. I've been having blackouts, and they attached one onto me to rule out heart issues. I had to go to school wearing it... :/
HotsyTotsy 8
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Kkkdawg 27
I've had to wear a heart monitor before and I wouldn't be caught dead wearing it out in public. Good for you for having the balls to go out with it on anyway.
baybay692 6
I didn't know xbox was attractive.
jlg337 11
if you were compared to an Xbox you must have been ugly XD