Today, I spent an hour explaining to a college student how you could have a baby and not be married. He still doesn't get it. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I tried to explain to my son that a 10.5lb baby can’t be born after only 6 months of pregnancy, and when he didn’t get that massive hint, I had to outright tell him his girlfriend must've already been 3 months pregnant when they met, and lied to him. I’ve raised an idiot. FML
Today, I found out my husband has been telling everyone he doesn't want a baby. He has been telling me he does. We have been trying for months. I'm now pregnant and confused. FML
Today, someone in class was making a point about premarital intercourse - "90% of teen virgins aren't saving it for marriage, they just can't get any." Another classmate pointed me out specifically. FML
Today, I had to explain to my husband that it's biologically impossible for cats and dogs to cross-breed, and that his "brilliant idea" of getting ours to mate is just plain disturbing. He still doesn't believe me. FML
Today, I explained to my boyfriend that I want to get my tubes tied, because I don’t want kids and can’t stand the fear of getting pregnant by accident, despite contraception, which has happened before. He summarized: “So, the main point is to preserve your fertility, right?” Wrong. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. Instead of being happy, he freaked out, then told me I was trying to "trap" him. We've been together for 12 years, and trying for 3. FML
Today, I told my parents I'm pregnant. I got a long lecture from my mom about using protection. It would have been fine hearing all that, but I'm turning 22, I moved out a few years ago, have a full time job with great benefits, and am getting married next summer. FML
Today, I'm 5 months pregnant. My 20-year-old boyfriend still refuses to tell his parents because he thinks he'll get in trouble. He thinks we can get away with "never telling them and just hiding the kid." FML
Today, I had to explain to my husband why I was assuming that he was planning to attend my graduation ceremonies for my PhD next week. He still doesn't understand why he has to be there, and is pissed that he will miss his weekly pub crawl with his friends. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't think he should marry me, because I have kids. They're his kids. FML
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Top comments
kinky44 28
Everyone knows genitals don't work until you get a marriage license and the state activates them.
PickledSweets 22
Oh, how I fear for the future of America.
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Comments (145)
xNephilim 19
Just how much did his parents shelter him? Jesus...
cakefete2 31
Well... They put him in a bubble that was filled with packing peanuts and bubble wrap. Then they put that in a bouncy house with extra foam padding.
Warmonger_Smurf 29
What no Clerks reference?
SMHsohard 22
And which one would that be? "I'm not even supposed to be here today"?
chinaski7628 32
Bunch of savages in this town....
MoOoN_fml 5
What kind of explanation !!!!
jsp16 24
Poor guy must've been playing with his pickle, waiting for a girl to marry all these years.
Alhamdulilah 15
Or he did un-protected sex thinking that the girl would never be pregnant
KingLewisII 34
Seems like he's one of those learn by doing types, if explaining doesn't work you'll have to show him.
happle 21
Sooo OP should get pregnant?
dutchy86 20
what is not too understand about the black-market?
MidnaLink 35
$100 says he was raised in a Christian household.
skyeyez9 25
Not necessarily. The guy just sounds like a moron. Religion isnt involved with this guy's stupidity. Besides nowhere in the bible does it claim "you are infertile till your genitals are activated upon marriage."
JazNim17 18
I was raised in a Christian home, and I know how the reproductive system works. So I don't understand your bet.
rs89 20
What he meant was the fact that some parents with strong beliefs, such as adultery being a huge sin in a couple of religions, would intimidate/lie/give false info to their offsprings to prevent them from committing the sin. I just can't understand how he was never curious to look it up himself!
MidnaLink 35
Ding Ding Ding! Give rs89 a prize!
skyeyez9 25
Rs89: I think you mean some parents have strong beliefs against "fornication" which is sex before marriage. Adultery is sex with someone while married other than your spouse. This kid OP was explaining stuff to was single.
deadrizing 4
That is bad but hey that's one less manwhore in the world.
RedPillSucks 33
Not necessarily. He could simply believe that as long as the women aren't married, they cant have children. But he might still be ok with ******* every hole that passes his way. Doughnuts, anyone?
ThaKranium 10
Use this. Sex>Marriage
illegalbeagle69 23
False! Actually, as I have not experienced either, my opinion on the subject does not matter. But, **** it, I'll say it anyway. You do not need to be married to love someone, but I feel that you should love the person you are going to have sex with. Either way, both having sex and getting married are ways to show your love, but neither are necessary to love someone. However, I personally feel marriage should come first to bind yourself to the other for life. Like I said, its my opinion; don't like it, well I don't really give a ****.
Quackadoodledoo 13
Lol, a 16 year old with strong views on sex and marriage. What's your opinion based on if you have no experience of either?
GraceyBlueEyes 13
I'm 20 and I'm going to agree with him. Although when you're married/in love you generally get sex anyway so it really does matter.
dave20012 15
Maybe stop..before he asks about grand kids