Today, I spent 3 hours trying to close a simple $400 deal with a homeowner. He spent 3 hours telling me about his life story including his marital problems, his philosophical views of the world, AND he read me 20 pages of haiku poems. Only 3 hours later did he tell me he couldn't accept my deal. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I finally finished painting a house that took me 3 weeks to complete at 10 hours a day, including weekends, due to my dedication to perfection. When I went to meet with the homeowner for pay day, which was supposed to be $2000, he gave me $200, 5 tacos and then told me to "get the f*** off my lawn." FML
Today, I greeted a customer with my usual “Hi, how are you?” She started telling me, in detail, about the terrible day she was having, job stress, family issues, everything. I stood there for 10 minutes listening because I didn’t want to be rude. At the end, she sighed, “Thanks, I’m not buying anything today” and left. FML
Today, my man complained about having to listen to my "emotional problems for hours." Yeah, we did talk for two hours, 90% of which was him asking for my advice on which new mattress to buy for his bed. FML
Today, after days of working with a client on plans for a project, I received a message halfway through completion, saying the deal was off because my prices were "so low, it seems like a scam." FML
Today, I was closing the deal on this beautiful $200k ranch in the country. The buyer soon pulls up and we get to discussing the contract terms, soon the buyer asks the seller," Wow why is this house going so cheap?" The seller replies, "Do you believe in ghosts?" There goes my $8,000 commission. FML
Today, I got a call from a potential employer. They spent five minutes explaining job duties and I listened with anticipation. Then they spent five minutes explaining why I wasn't the right person for the job. FML
Today, while at work, I had to spend an hour and a half on the phone, listening to an old lady relive her entire day in excruciating detail. We're not allowed to hang up on customers, and she was extremely quick to dismiss all my attempts to steer the call back on topic. FML
Today, my neighbor knocked on my door to borrow some tools. Trying to be friendly, I asked how he was doing. He then spent the next 45 minutes describing his recent breakup in excruciating detail. I just wanted him to take the tools and leave. FML
Today, I submitted an offer on a house. I got a call a few minutes later saying that it had collapsed. FML
Today, I was working at our garage sale with my dad. I sat outside for 2 hours, talked to three people, and sold nothing. My dad came outside and got angry at me, so I told him to give it a shot. He sold 3 things to the first guy who walked in. FML
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Top comments
John_Failer 0
"All these dumb haikus. Would you just accept my deal? Oh hell, **** my life."
p89hg69 0
guess he's pretty lonely
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Comments (70)
ThotBoutTheGame 0
maybe he just needed to talk to someone because he was lonely? idk but people shouldn't trap other people into talking to them, like that... EXTREMELY annoying
j8ey 0
get a real job you bum
jaybirdka 0
what a freak
wholeon 0
What 23 said. If this was some sort of telemarketer/door-to-door salesperson type who had been bugging the shit out of the haiku-lover, I would call this a huge WIN on haiku's part. (I know that everyone has to make a living, blah blah blah, but there is a point of annoyingness that should not be crossed.)
musicsnob79 0
Why the fu-- would let him sit there and read you pages of haiku poems?? You're an idiot and I think it's hilarious you did that for a small $400 deal that he didn't even accept. hahaha
Green_fml 0
Haiku's are beautiful works of poetry, you should have been more appreciative of his poems and maybe he would have accepted the deal. =)
NoozeHound 0
Not closing a deal is hardly FML. Maybe you stopped him topping himself - and really, with his marital problems and the fact that he had to find a sales person in place of a friend, more like FHL. You are a mug though for letting him read 20 pages of poetry. So maybe 'Today I discovered I am totally weak-willed and am not assertive. FML'
greenman_fml 0
a punch to the jugular and kick in the balls was in order.
AlexJakubsen1 0
ha, i would have walked out when his poetry came out.
greenman_fml 0
a punch to the jugular and kick in the balls was in order.