Today, I spent 3 hours trying to close a simple $400 deal with a homeowner. He spent 3 hours telling me about his life story including his marital problems, his philosophical views of the world, AND he read me 20 pages of haiku poems. Only 3 hours later did he tell me he couldn't accept my deal. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I finally finished painting a house that took me 3 weeks to complete at 10 hours a day, including weekends, due to my dedication to perfection. When I went to meet with the homeowner for pay day, which was supposed to be $2000, he gave me $200, 5 tacos and then told me to "get the f*** off my lawn." FML
Today, I greeted a customer with my usual “Hi, how are you?” She started telling me, in detail, about the terrible day she was having, job stress, family issues, everything. I stood there for 10 minutes listening because I didn’t want to be rude. At the end, she sighed, “Thanks, I’m not buying anything today” and left. FML
Today, my man complained about having to listen to my "emotional problems for hours." Yeah, we did talk for two hours, 90% of which was him asking for my advice on which new mattress to buy for his bed. FML
Today, after days of working with a client on plans for a project, I received a message halfway through completion, saying the deal was off because my prices were "so low, it seems like a scam." FML
Today, I was closing the deal on this beautiful $200k ranch in the country. The buyer soon pulls up and we get to discussing the contract terms, soon the buyer asks the seller," Wow why is this house going so cheap?" The seller replies, "Do you believe in ghosts?" There goes my $8,000 commission. FML
Today, I got a call from a potential employer. They spent five minutes explaining job duties and I listened with anticipation. Then they spent five minutes explaining why I wasn't the right person for the job. FML
Today, while at work, I had to spend an hour and a half on the phone, listening to an old lady relive her entire day in excruciating detail. We're not allowed to hang up on customers, and she was extremely quick to dismiss all my attempts to steer the call back on topic. FML
Today, my neighbor knocked on my door to borrow some tools. Trying to be friendly, I asked how he was doing. He then spent the next 45 minutes describing his recent breakup in excruciating detail. I just wanted him to take the tools and leave. FML
Today, I submitted an offer on a house. I got a call a few minutes later saying that it had collapsed. FML
Today, I was working at our garage sale with my dad. I sat outside for 2 hours, talked to three people, and sold nothing. My dad came outside and got angry at me, so I told him to give it a shot. He sold 3 things to the first guy who walked in. FML
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Top comments
John_Failer 0
"All these dumb haikus. Would you just accept my deal? Oh hell, **** my life."
p89hg69 0
guess he's pretty lonely
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Comments (70)
lifeislife_fml 0
LMAO the haiku part is the funniest.
bco12 0
"those are all very nice poems sir, if you'll excuse me I have to take this call... oh no, my daughter's in the hospital? I'll be right there, just let me close this deal!"
hsmiles 0
Wow ... and you put up with this WHY? Doesn't sound like it's worth $400, even if he had paid.
tigrouficele2012 44
Should've told him "Okay then, that'll be $400 for today's therapy session."
Monty_Python 0
That sucks.
MoobyTheCow 2
YDI for being too desperate. Really, it sounds like he was screwing with you and the fact that you entertained him for that long probably just confirmed to him (assuming he's not crazy) how desperate you were to get his money. Professionalism gets more sales than ass-kissing. Next time, keep the client focused on business. Not only will this increase the odds that he'll accept, but it'll save your time if he declines. Small talk is fine to establish rapport, but it has to lead to a purpose. Purposeless haiku-reading is just setting yourself up for fail.
Monty_Python 0
That sucks.
xClarkGable 0
This happens all the time in business. It's not a FYL or a YDI. It just happens.
Mattyknows 0
In a nicer state of mind; I agree with #47.
Ohnoitslindsay 0
You are in sales. That is your job. You deserve it.