marriage/celibacy/synonymity
Espeland, Norway 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I showed my wife an article about how frequent orgasms can prevent prostate cancer, as well as increase both partners' overall health. She replied that she wouldn't judge me if I masturbated, as long as I don't use porn. FML
Top comments
upyourzlolz 11
I find my imagination to be the best cameraman, director, and pornstar I've ever known.
perdix 31
Tell her your masturbating won't improve her health, and she might even end up slipping on a puddle of semen and breaking a hip. Ladies love it when you try to charm their pants off with medical research.
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Comments (94)
klorehore 24
I see your name saying "celibacy" and I can't help but thinking that your sex life really must be boring your wife. Sex gets boring if it's always the same routine, if it lacks romance or if it's overall bad.. Perhaps you should do some reading in books and on the internet and step up your game and impress her? :) Keep doing little things to warm her up during the day too, things you know she likes. Just turn her on and make her really want it, don't come running like a dog who thinks he's going for a walk everytime you think you're getting lucky, make her crave it sometimes!
SanpakuEyes 18
I don't see why she would object to **** if she doesn't want to be the one to turn you on/and or participate. It's seems hardly fair to deny your sexual needs and then feel that she can stipulate how you take care of them.
txguitarslinger 7
Boobs
onorexveritas 24
I think she needs a more exciting sex life
jtackle 2
Id cheat on that ass
iloveandy143 7
That's a great solution
hiandrews69 29
See my earlier comment... #71. I agree with you completely.
pdp_fml 21
I have read that if you can milk your prostate, that it will help with prostatic fluid buildup and might help prevent prostate cancer. A handjob with the milking will be more fun for you.
laden_swallow09 35
That would be a great idea, if he can bend that far and was ambidextrous. If only he could have some help…
upallnight11 19
I think you should've been a bit more specific.
amifaiyaz 12
no sex, and no ****? your wife must be incredibly exciting in bed.
Threnody666 19
Why the hell can't you use ****?!
SunAndMoon427 12
Respect? A lot of women don't like the idea of their partner watching that...but those women also aren't usually holding out on the guy, that part makes the no **** thing much worse than if she was giving him what he wanted.
cutiee108 5
What a bitch
Twitch5253 4
I hope she doesn't think HER picture is going to be adequate to do the job!