marriage/celibacy/synonymity
Espeland, Norway 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I showed my wife an article about how frequent orgasms can prevent prostate cancer, as well as increase both partners' overall health. She replied that she wouldn't judge me if I masturbated, as long as I don't use porn. FML
Top comments
upyourzlolz 11
I find my imagination to be the best cameraman, director, and pornstar I've ever known.
perdix 29
Tell her your masturbating won't improve her health, and she might even end up slipping on a puddle of semen and breaking a hip. Ladies love it when you try to charm their pants off with medical research.
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Comments (94)
Sugarita 7
Lolz... Poor ol' chap your request was turned down with heavy restrictions
aircon 7
how is that even possible
PipingMouse 14
You could say your allergic to your hand. Then she'll be forced to have sex with you under threat of death.
whostolemylama 12
What? I'm trying to underhand what you're saying. If you were allergic to your hands, then you would instantly die.
Smashhoof 15
20- 17's statement was very illogical, but it was still funny.
FML_Whale 18
Well, he could say he has a sensitive penis and his hands could irritate it and give him a rash..
PipingMouse 14
Thank you #20! I thought people knew what a joke was...I know how stupid that comment is.
Tupelo_Honey 30
Love your username!!
lochiamochia 25
From a woman's POV: "Today, I showed my husband an article that showed how orgasms can prevent cervical cancer. He told me that he wouldn't judge me if I masturbated as long as I didn't use ****." Somehow I can imagine more FYLs for this poor woman than for poor OP. F everyone's life who's S.O. would prefer masturbation than fornication................. Oh, wait........
TheGoldStandard 6
Yeee ********** in bed beside her. Or put it in her mouth and hand while shes sleeping
lionheart822 13
Wow OP, is that the best pick up line you've got? Lol
karlcolt45 19
oh well, a good imagination helps prevent prostate cancer then too
noelasis94 18
Do everything you can to get caught maybe it'll warm the south up
wanderingshopper 13
There was a study that shows women are healthier if we(women) have 25-30 orgasims a month. Better hormonal balance, less headaches etc...
BellaBelle_fml 23
Now THAT's a study I can get behind and support entirely! It seems to be true as well. I know both my husband and I are always in a much better mood, and tend to sleep much better, after we have had a night of complete passion together. The strong emotional bond that is formed between two people, very much in love, and the actual act of sex can unleash a series of potent hormones throughout your entire body. And that is a pretty amazing feeling to have. (: