marriage/celibacy/synonymity
Espeland, Norway 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I showed my wife an article about how frequent orgasms can prevent prostate cancer, as well as increase both partners' overall health. She replied that she wouldn't judge me if I masturbated, as long as I don't use porn. FML
Top comments
upyourzlolz 11
I find my imagination to be the best cameraman, director, and pornstar I've ever known.
perdix 31
Tell her your masturbating won't improve her health, and she might even end up slipping on a puddle of semen and breaking a hip. Ladies love it when you try to charm their pants off with medical research.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (94)
Adippy1 4
LMAO! As long as you believe it...
rogerover 19
Look up "After the Honeymoon" seminars on the web. Get a jump start to reviving sex and. Intimacy in your marriage.
RaulGarcia30 10
How are you supposed to get the job done without ****??
SunAndMoon427 12
Is your imagination that boring that you can't use you own mind? Lol
B0nb0N09 12
Someone masturbates too much...
SunAndMoon427 12
There is nothing wrong with her no **** thing...but she should be willing to help you out if she's going to have that crazy stipulation.
Wizardo 34
Out of spite turn on that pr0n and bash away son :D
hiandrews69 29
The phrase: "Why buy the cow when the milk is free" is total bull shit. Men don't avoid marrage because of free sex. They avoid marriage because they know that when they finally buy the cow, the milk DRIES UP. Women, if you don't want your man to cheat, or if you want him to marry you, you best put out. He's not going to do his job if you don't do yours!
SecsNoises 6
If you honestly believe men cheat because their wives don't "put out", then I pity you for having such a naive and shallow worldview. The adult world. One day you shall join it.
jonnyscash 12
This is the saddest thing I've ever read..
Metallica36176 16
Why the **** do (most) women have a thing against ****. Its not like he's going to get a **** star. Just like looking, look at all the other women you want, but at the end of the day, he's coming home with you. If not, THEN dump his worthless ass....jeeze.
B0nb0N09 12
Because **** is generally abusive and not give and take
afallingstar 22
My boyfriend told me this and I had told him that was an excuse for us to have sex more often (which is fine by me) poor OP's wife doesn't care about his health...
Cazzybum 11
You don't "let them" watch ****? Who died and made you the boss of their masturbation stimulation?