marriage/celibacy/synonymity
Espeland, Norway 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I showed my wife an article about how frequent orgasms can prevent prostate cancer, as well as increase both partners' overall health. She replied that she wouldn't judge me if I masturbated, as long as I don't use porn. FML
Top comments
upyourzlolz 11
I find my imagination to be the best cameraman, director, and pornstar I've ever known.
perdix 29
Tell her your masturbating won't improve her health, and she might even end up slipping on a puddle of semen and breaking a hip. Ladies love it when you try to charm their pants off with medical research.
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Comments (94)
davincidasecond 24
I don't think she can really tell you how you satisfy your needs when masturbating when she won't have sex with you. Use as much **** as you need my friend.
Jebitesevsi 11
How else are you supposed to get off? Besides, she has no business dictating you, whether or not you ********** and how you get off, while you do it.
TheLovelyArtist 6
Eh. Girls these days need to lighten up. My boyfriend has his **** and sometimes I use **** too. But we also have the healthy mix of phone sex since he's long distance now.
dannnngthatsux 19
Bye "wife".
rorex 26
She's not obligated to have sex with you. And if you want to have sex more, just ask her.
withered 30
Quit bitching and try to improve yourself in bed. Most of the time when someone bitches about lack of sex it's THEM that's the problem, as in they're selfish pricks that only care about their own pleasure and do nothing to satisfy their own partner and nothing to improve themselves. And horrible sex is way worse than no sex. Not to mention throwing "heal benefit" reasons to have sex just makes you look pathetic and is not a turn on. Try TALKING with her about sex, why she doesn't want it and what can you do to improve yourself/yourselves.