Today, I saw a small bug on the wall, so I decided to send it straight to the insect afterlife by smashing it with a book. The book crushed it, and caused my clock to come free from the wall and crash down onto my TV. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was laying on the couch, reading, when I noticed a spindly leg poking round the corner of my book. Upon realising it was a spider, I calmly and rationally threw my book across the room, breaking the TV. FML
Today, I noticed an extremely large bug buzzing around my room. After several attempts, I stomped on it with my shoe. I was trying to get a closer look at my victory when it flew into my nostril. Turns out it was just playing dead. FML
Today, a moth was flying around my house. Annoyed, I picked up a shoe to crush it with. The moth landed on a light fixture on the ceiling, so I made my move. Dead, the moth slipped gracefully through air and onto my head. So did the light fixture. FML
Today, I saw a spider crawling across a poster in my bedroom, so I smacked the spot below it to scare the spider into climbing back up the wall. Instead, because the poster wasn't completely flat to the wall, I catapulted the spider straight into my face. FML
Today, about to fall asleep, a bug started buzzing behind the screen to my window. Losing my sanity, I punched the screen, forgetting all about the glass. I now have a cracked window and one still annoying bug. FML
Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it as quickly as possible, I smacked my hand against the wall with force. It was a nail. FML
Today, I ruined my computer screen trying to kill a fly. FML
Today, I tried to smack a fly that was buzzing around my room. I ended up hitting the wall a little too hard, scaring my cat, who jumped up and ran under the bed, knocking over a lamp. The fly is fine. FML
Today, I was in my basement when I saw a giant cricket on the floor. I found an old plastic bottle of orange paint to drop on it and did so from about five feet up. The bottle exploded and splattered the walls and floor like a crime scene. The cricket hopped away untouched. FML
Today, as I was using my mom's computer, a spider crawled onto the screen. So as per my usual reaction to seeing a spider, I smashed it as fast as I could. I missed the spider, but now I have to buy my mom a new monitor. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
syley 5
Karma must love bugs
DarkDaedalus009 8
The clock got bored of being on the wall
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (166)
testestestes123 4
Did your tv break? That would bug me
missababgaga 19
Nice use of word play!
Ajwc101 24
Who would have thought karma applied to insects.
dmac843 2
Karma applies to ALL sentient beings and is the reason there are insects (among other things).
CyborgBanana 12
38 - Wait, wait, wait... are you saying that insects exist because of karma? If that's the case, I'm afraid to say you're wrong. Very... very wrong.
Malevolent_Bunny 0
Are you saying bugs are sentient? They are certainly clever, but evidence that they are self-aware would redefine the world as we know it. Imagine having to rewrite all of those protection laws for our newest society members, and the number of murders spiders would be charged with!
porcupineattack1 5
I pick them up with tissues and free them, otherwise i have pangs of consious. Don't kill bugs anymore.
verkaderk 9
How hard did you hit that bug? Holy calm down tiger
mrf13 5
Karma, buddy!
hannnahmarie 14
Did the tv break?
With_Love929 3
If it wasn't a grandfather clock then no probably not
daliagrande 17
Stop with the whole karma is a bitch. We all kill bugs and don't act like you want them around your house.
SuHanaOk 4
People who can't take a joke really bug me.
loserboii 11
Sounds like the OP's plan was a bit buggy
mrnuleef 7
I only kill cockroaches because my fiance is deathly afraid of them. Otherwise I try and put em back in the wild
MandieL 27
Do you know us all? I do not kill bugs. I rescue them from my house or work where others would kill them, or I just let them live in peace. I got mad at my husband when he bought spray bomb for a hornets nest and used it. I threw it out and bought a fake hornets nest so they would relocate. Bugs have feelings too, and they need a little chance to be a good bug so they don't come back, yet again, as a bug.
fancypanda 0
Karmas a bitch, bitch!
heythere131630 9
Don't worry about it. It was just the bugs soul seeking revenge.
Enslaved 38
People here acting like they wouldn't have also killed that bug if it was in their house. ***I had a Barbque today and a horsefly flew in my house and all I wanted to do was swat it. Thank goodness my cat is a master bug killer, clawed and swallowed it! RIP its grave will be in the kitty litter later on tonight! (:
GothicAngel17 24
Is that your cat in the profile picture? If so, she's absolutely beautiful :)
martin_martian7 11
I guess it wasn't time