Miscellaneous: Today, I saw a picture of a dude on a Harley on my friend's wall.... - FML

Nearly

28/09/2021 01:05

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 5

27/09/2021 06:27

Today, I have to get up and go to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 105

Spicy

Spicy

Nice try, though

By Anonymous - 16/10/2021 20:00

Spicy

Today, I bought a $100 Victoria's Secret gift card for an ex who I still have a thing for, only to find out she started dating someone else a week ago. I just realized I bought lingerie for her to wear for someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36

You deserved it 266

Unfriended

By thethrowawayplace - 15/10/2021 17:00

Spicy

Today, my friend was watching a black guy getting yelled at by the cops on TV. He then decided to yell, "Wow, ni***** really don't know how to behave!" When I didn't react, he yelled it over and over, until I slunk into my room. He knows I'm part black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 716

You deserved it 123

24/04/2012 02:12

Today, I saw a picture of a dude on a Harley on my friend's wall. I asked her if it was Dog the bounty hunter. It wasn't, it was her aunt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 553

You deserved it 5 004

GogoTheGreat 12

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Tuesday 24 April 2012 17:12

Her hair was in her face so I couldn't tell if there was a beard or not.

Age difference

Free carer

Midlife crisis

26/04/2018 15:00

Today, after it appeared my daughter was throwing away any vegetables in her school lunch, I packed her all vegetables so she would have to eat at least one. Nope! She threw them out and complained to school that "mommy doesn't feed" her. I got a call from the school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 336

You deserved it 577

04/01/2011 19:34

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about our new year's resolutions. I started telling him that I wanted to lose some weight. He interrupted me, saying, "Yeah yeah, we all know you're fat, whatever." He then went on a 30 minute speech about how he'd really like to take more pictures of his cat in 2011. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 413

You deserved it 6 252

26/11/2009 09:22

Today, I learned that as adorable as it might be to watch your cat follow your cursor around the screen, the humor ends when she dives into and breaks the monitor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 943

You deserved it 28 235

21/08/2009 18:23

Today, I asked my husband why he won't list me as his wife on Facebook. Apparently, it's because he doesn't want the high school friends he just reconnected with to know that he married "the biggest geek in the whole school." We went to the same high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 046

You deserved it 3 758

27/12/2011 07:11

Spicy

Today, despite being 21 years old and living in my own place, my mom still managed to walk in on me whacking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 578

You deserved it 10 207

11/03/2009 04:42

Spicy

Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. I minimized the porn on my laptop so she wouldn't see I was watching it. It turns out I was watching an old Beatles concert before I started masturbating. My mom thought I was masturbating to the Beatles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 097

You deserved it 80 409

23/01/2012 00:49

Today, I did my old "toe-touch" cheerleading move to try to impress my 5-year-old daughter. When I landed, I broke my toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 900

You deserved it 26 050

Date grape

By Anonymous - 05/09/2019 08:02

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were drinking wine naked after sex. He went to get another glass, but on the way back tripped and fell flat on his face. His roommate unexpectedly came home, saw him face-down on the floor, thought I'd drugged him and tackled me before I could explain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 891

You deserved it 209

Haunted house

By Anonymous - 19/12/2020 16:58

Today, I jumped when, after being home alone for days, I suddenly saw the door handle move. Apparently, the cats weren't happy about being locked out of the kitchen and were pretty close to figuring things out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 663

You deserved it 147

05/03/2009 06:38

Today, I was dumped by my boyfriend of almost a year because he was no longer sexually attracted to me because I'm "overweight," even though I only weigh 130 pounds. Afterward I went to my friend's house and sat in an old wooden chair. It broke into pieces as soon as I sat down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93 981

You deserved it 9 795

15/11/2015 15:21

Today, while my husband was at work, he missed our son saying his first word ("Dada"), taking his first steps and smashing the widescreen TV with a well-aimed teddy bear. Care to guess which of these three things made my husband cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 241

You deserved it 2 817

22/10/2011 23:16

Today, my parents got a call from my English teacher. She told them that I have 14 days of detention because I've been cutting class. I've been there every day, but apparently she never noticed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 323

You deserved it 3 154

10/09/2010 18:09

Today, at school, everybody wanted to be my partner for a project. This surprised me because nobody ever wants to be with me. Turns out when I was absent, my teacher promised that whoever was my partner would get extra points on the project. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 925

You deserved it 3 346

Great family you've got there

By Anonymous - 31/01/2021 14:01

Today, my wife, who recently had cancer, made an offhand comment that my 30-year-old sister took offense to. Instead of saying something, she went and called our parents. My dad then called and yelled at me for 5 minutes about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 749

You deserved it 110

16/04/2009 14:38

Today, I discovered that I had left my sunroof open all night during a storm and my front seats was soaked. I grabbed a towel for my seat but didn't close my sunroof because it was nice out. As I pull out of my driveway, I felt something wet hit my forehead. A bird shit on me through my sunroof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 398

You deserved it 17 407

18/09/2013 14:57

Today, the Internet wasn't working. One girl decided to try to diagnose the problem. It said to connect the Ethernet cable. She started making fun of the computer for spelling "Internet" wrong. I'm graduating with this idiot in less than a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 593

You deserved it 3 211

Uber karma

By Anonymous - 01/07/2021 17:01

Today, I dropped off my visibly-upset Uber passengers off at a funeral. I absentmindedly said, “Good luck, have fun!” as they got out. Needless to say, I got my first 1-star rating today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 959

Customer service

By retailworker - 09/01/2020 14:00

Today, at work, I was helping a customer over the phone. Another customer came and asked me a question. I let them know I'd be with them shortly. They then said "I really think you should hang up. The customer is always first." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 327

You deserved it 547

24/04/2012 21:28

Today, my parents went out of town and I was home all alone. I put up party decorations such as streamers, balloons and confetti. Then, I drank out of red cups, crushed them up and put them all over the house. I didn't have a party, I just wanted to convince my family that I'm not a loser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 835

You deserved it 19 728

11/12/2010 05:10

Today, I found out my daughter has a higher paid job in the same company I work in. I also found out she is dating my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 913

You deserved it 3 437

27/07/2009 04:10

Today, my immature dad said I am a girl not a woman, so my witty response was ''I have a period, I'm pretty sure that makes me a woman.'' My dad stole my phone and sent a text to everyone in my address book, quoting me. Including the guy I like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 495

You deserved it 16 636

01/10/2018 03:00

Today, I sat in the bathroom on my phone to rub one out after a long day. Wanting to hear the action, I upped the volume until the sound was low enough for me to hear, despite the volume being near max. I continued until I realized my phone was connected to my headset outside near my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 514

You deserved it 4 295

10/11/2010 02:11

Today, my boyfriend, who doesn't wear deodorant and has horrible dandruff, decided to shower for the first time in nearly a week because he got invited out to a bar. He didn't even invite me to go with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 709

You deserved it 39 766

15/01/2013 07:33

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. In the entrance way I felt a slight tugging on my jeans. Used to my Doberman tugging when he wants to play, I shoved hard with my foot. I successfully punted their Chihuahua off the ground and into the next room where it landed with a thud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 903

You deserved it 41 346

15/06/2019 22:27

Today, I went to make my morning coffee as usual. When I opened the container for the coffee grounds, I saw it bubbling. Perplexed, I looked closer. This is how I discovered that maggots can actually bubble what they ingest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 994

You deserved it 258

02/02/2012 04:57

Today, I tried to treat a cut on my butt hole with Neosporin. I couldn't see it properly, so I had to use the front-facing camera on my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 004

You deserved it 6 985

05/05/2009 00:46

Today, I saw my neighbor's son mowing their lawn when suddenly he started to do this crazy dance. Chuckling at his antics I waved and walked back into my house. His mom called me from a hospital later to ask if I could put the mower away; he had been attacked by bees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 481

You deserved it 47 284

Galaxy brain take

By Oragami - 12/06/2020 14:07

Today, a customer told me it was bullshit we couldn't serve coffee because of the COVID restrictions, and added that the protests and riots happening are because people are bored. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 280

You deserved it 210

05/01/2010 17:58

Today, I was walking out of Starbucks when I sneezed, causing coffee to burn my nose. I screamed, dropped it, and sent scorching coffee all over my legs while dropping everything else I was holding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 882

You deserved it 7 150

24/01/2011 08:01

Today, I went to the eye doctor. For the past three days every time I wear my glasses I become nauseous, get migraines, and have that "fish-eye view" where everything is rounded. Turns out they placed my lenses on the wrong sides. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 737

You deserved it 3 037

14/09/2010 20:00

Today, I realized the guy I like is not deaf. This would normally be good news. However, for the past two weeks I assumed he was deaf after seeing him use sign language. I've been openly talking about him within earshot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 554

You deserved it 49 582

23/04/2011 02:17

Today, at work, a customer went to try on a pair of pants. A few minutes later, she hurriedly returned and put the pants back on the shelf without saying anything. I later found out she'd come down with a bout of diarrhea and apparently didn't want to pay for the dry-cleaning. Glamorous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 119

You deserved it 3 560

03/08/2010 10:21

Today, I tried to act nonchalant in front of my neighbors, and swing my lanyard around with my keys on it. It flew off my finger and into their yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 224

You deserved it 38 891

Drugged?

By wlisy - 30/09/2019 18:00

Today, I went to spend time with friends. The next thing I knew, I was waking up in my bed with several blocked contacts and text messages, saying that what I did was unacceptable. No drugs or alcohol were involved, and I have no memory of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 664

You deserved it 226

09/03/2017 04:00

Today, I was giving my one-year-old a bath. I'd finished washing her, so she started to play and splash. When I went to lift her out of the tub, I slipped and busted my kneecaps on the side. Guess who sat there and laughed hysterically as I cried out in agony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 094

You deserved it 568

27/04/2013 22:05

Today, my car was stolen from the parking garage, the same one I work at as a security guard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 030

You deserved it 25 895

13/06/2012 04:14

Today, I gave my puppy a treat for finally doing his business in the grass instead of on the patio. He later puked it up all over the patio. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 971

You deserved it 3 302

31/10/2016 00:33

Today, I got yelled at by a customer for saving them money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 477

You deserved it 895

Sewing project

By peppergirl - 30/12/2019 20:00

Today, I was doing a sewing project in class. My friend said we should get the teachers to model our designs. I said that I did not think I would have enough material to make clothes for one of the teachers. I said this in front of the whole class very loudly, while the teacher was right next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 608

You deserved it 2 291

22/05/2010 02:41

Today, I fell asleep in class. If that wasn't bad enough, I awoke gasping for air. I almost drowned in my arm fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 097

You deserved it 41 650

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Tuesday 24 April 2012 8:12

Damn, that must be a butch looking woman.

GogoTheGreat 12

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Tuesday 24 April 2012 17:12

Her hair was in her face so I couldn't tell if there was a beard or not.

Comments

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Tuesday 24 April 2012 8:11

She must be a dog, eh?

maz255 10

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Tuesday 24 April 2012 8:15

Daaaaamn...

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Tuesday 24 April 2012 8:19

Lol must of been a fun rest of the night?

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Tuesday 24 April 2012 8:35

Yes 1, because being a human is too mainstream..

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Tuesday 24 April 2012 10:53

Who said anything about mainstream? :)

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Tuesday 24 April 2012 11:16

Dig #1 think they really meant a dog?

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Tuesday 24 April 2012 11:16

Hipsters.. Hipsters did...

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Tuesday 24 April 2012 16:51

Damn hipsters -.-

MajesticLaura 8

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Wednesday 25 April 2012 4:13

Lololololol. Nasty Hipsters. .

MyChemicalSmosh 4

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Friday 27 April 2012 9:21

1's picture must be a duck, eh?

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Thursday 13 August 2015 5:28

You people and your political correctness...

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Tuesday 24 April 2012 8:12

Damn, that must be a butch looking woman.

GiggityGiggityGo_fml 8

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Wednesday 25 April 2012 13:13

This is such a good FML!! So funny! :)

honeycutt8729 8

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Tuesday 24 April 2012 8:12

That was kinda rude.

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Tuesday 24 April 2012 8:16

I will have to disagree... Embarrassing moment for sure... I doubt OP meant to be rude

honeycutt8729 8

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Tuesday 24 April 2012 8:36

It could go either way.

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Tuesday 24 April 2012 9:53

I personally thought this was hilarious and in no way OP's fault!

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Tuesday 24 April 2012 10:50

I don't think it would be an FML moment if they meant to be rude. It could go either way... But seems to me it was an honest mistake. Not OPs fault the women looks like dog the bounty hunter.

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Wednesday 12 August 2015 20:40

Not if you don't know

happle 21

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Tuesday 24 April 2012 8:12

Doesn't Dog the Bounty Hunter have a huge moustache? O.o

ydi_4_suking 20

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Tuesday 24 April 2012 8:15

I've seen a couple ladies with mustaches. Weird

Webslinger66 10

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Tuesday 24 April 2012 8:20

And so does her aunt

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Tuesday 24 April 2012 10:05

Just throwing it out there, to the ladies with facial hair, wax that!

GogoTheGreat 12

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Tuesday 24 April 2012 17:12

Her hair was in her face so I couldn't tell if there was a beard or not.

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Thursday 26 April 2012 3:50

Yes thats the point...... Lol

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Wednesday 12 August 2015 19:17

Okay but, consider this... We do what the fuck we wanna do with our hair. Anyway, FYL op, must have been an awkward moment for both of you haha

danimal_crackerz 26

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Wednesday 12 August 2015 22:21

So curt, OP :P

YourOpinionSucks 22

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Thursday 13 August 2015 1:58

Do what you want with your hair, just don't expect men to find you attractive if you're sporting a unibrow, mustache, and natural leg warmers

greekk 21

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Thursday 13 August 2015 4:12

44 fmls submitted, 1 made it, YDI for saying FYL to every small situation like this one. lmao

wheelchairchick 11

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Friday 14 August 2015 11:25

I would hope a woman would shave it off.

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Tuesday 24 April 2012 8:13

Dude, that's just messed up. You should've kept quiet about it.

KendratheUnicorn 0

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Tuesday 24 April 2012 8:53

I agree with 20, maybe they were trying to make a lighthearted joke. Or even trying to talk the guy up. It just went poorly...because he's a she.

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Tuesday 24 April 2012 20:15

knew* Maybe op is a Dog fan??

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Tuesday 24 April 2012 8:15

Sometimes you just don't know until you ask.

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Tuesday 24 April 2012 8:15

Ewwww she sounds hairy :p yuck

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Wednesday 2 January 2013 0:50

Wahaha too funny

OkitaCockroach 19

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Tuesday 24 April 2012 8:16

An aunt who rides a Harley and looks like Dog the bounty hunter... I'm /almost/ jealous.

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Tuesday 24 April 2012 8:19

The more you know

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Tuesday 24 April 2012 8:20

Dang, nice try, you shouldn't be too curious anyways!