Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally caught the person who has now and again been stealing my lunch at work for weeks. It was my boss. I awkwardly watched him eat my sandwich while he talked about how he's been "saving money by bringing food from home." FML
Today, I was running late for work and skipped breakfast. At a red light, I noticed a granola bar in my bag and so I took a bite, only to realize it was actually a dog treat I'd stuffed in there days ago. FML
Today, I overheard my coworkers talking about how someone has been stealing lunches from the office fridge. Feeling guilty, I admitted that I took a sandwich yesterday, thinking it was free. Turns out, they were joking to see who’d confess. FML
Today, for what has seemed to be the hundredth time, my labeled bagged lunch was stolen from the fridge at my workplace. I stormed into my boss's office ready to complain, only to find him eating it. FML
Today, after weeks of stealing lunch from one of my employees, he made a sandwich with canned cat food, soap, and something unimaginably spicy that caused me to spew all over my office and laptop. I fired him. Now everyone is treating me like a monster. FML
Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML
Today, I went and bought lunch for all the people I work with. The only meal the place forgot was mine. FML
Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML
Today, I made myself a snack. I took a seemingly clean plate from the sink which had been used earlier for scrambled eggs. Only after I'd made the snack did I remember I let my dog lick the plate clean. FML
Today, a coworker threw my lunch in the trash. They'd just got back from holidays, and I use the same containers they do. My leftovers "looked like something they'd eat", so they thought it was something they'd forgotten before going on holidays. It was leftovers that I'd been spacing out, trying to make last till payday. FML
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Top comments
jereka05 0
YDI - Make your own freaking sandwiches
gigi37 0
Well, that's what you get for stealing someone else's food. What, were you too lazy to make your own? It's not that expensive to get a dollar hamburger Are you really expecting sympathy on here?
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Comments (406)
jlperry31 10
cant stand peiole like you... they shoukd have fed you human shit. that woukd teach u a lesson
rootbeerfanatic 6
Were you really expecting sympathy?
imazaari 12
EPIC WIN. Good job anonymous sandwich maker!!!
jjmoraes99 13
he should've done a shit sandwich
GRgoldfish 19
I agree with #420, just because some one did you wrong it does not give you justification to go out and punishment those that wronged you. . . but, if it were me I would have made a tuna sandwich. not any sandwich, I would put the best hottest hot sauce you can find, then I would stir in horseradish with a hole heap of wasabi, then to top it of I then grind up and put in ghost Chili's. the next day I sit and wait and watch the magic happen. >:D
PH4NX0M 16
put sleepy medicine in it and something he's allergic to but don't kill him though
vixsin 22
Hope they sneezed in it too.
sulitak 27
I want to know how there's over 9k fmls...
droptableusers 7
Good, I would have made a dog turd laxative sandwich.
rob2113 0
Dont be such an ass and steal others lunch, I would have mad you a much worse sandwich.