Today, I ran into my infant daughter's room because I thought I heard her crying, and found she was still sound asleep in her crib. The screams were coming from the mouse our cat was using to paint her bedroom walls. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I woke up to my disabled mother screaming for me. Fearing the worst, I hopped out of bed only to find that she was yelling because her cat had brought a field mouse inside as a gift. The problem? It was still alive. I had to get it from him and throw it outside. FML
Today, my daughter, who can pick up spiders and even snakes without flinching, screamed at the top of her lungs because she saw a mouse. Um, what? FML
Today, I woke up to what sounded like twigs snapping. Turns out it was the skull of a live mouse being crushed in my cat's jaws. FML
Today, I painted my daughter's bedroom. When I wasn't paying attention, the cat walked through the paint tray. There are now Barney purple paw prints all over the house. FML
Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunderstorm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML
Today, around 2:00 a.m. I had just sat down on my couch when I noticed one of my cats poking at what appeared to be a toy. I attempted to pick it up to play with the cat when it started to move like a mouse. I squealed like a girl and woke up my wife upstairs. I'm a 26-year-old man. FML
Today, my cat started screaming nonstop outside my bedroom. She's never done this since she was last in heat (she's 7 1/2 years old), so I was worried. I opened the door to find that she had "killed' a mouse (a fake one, formerly attached to her cat tree) and was very proud of herself. That's cute, but… really? FML
Today, my 2-year-old cat finally decided to start catching mice. Like any other cat would, she left it for me to find. I found it in the middle of the night, as my bare foot rolled its guts out of its ass. FML
Today, while spring cleaning, my cat came into the kitchen with a live mouse in her mouth. She looked me dead in the eyes and dropped the mouse, which then ran into my bedroom. It's been 4 hours and I still can't find it. Where's the cat? Chilling like nothing happened. FML
Today, I was cleaning my room when I found a nice surprise from my cat. While I was on vacation, she killed a mouse. By the time I found it, there were maggots crawling in my carpet. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Jordanln97 9
Oh my god
cristy91 33
In every house cat, there is a tiger waiting.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (114)
littlemissjayy 8
Woah calm down there
BellaBelle_fml 23
No. You don't just ignore a crying infant. Especially when you are in a different room than they are and you can't see what is wrong, so you don't know if your infant is injured somehow or they simply need some cuddles or maybe some lunch. Plus, I would imagine that the screams the mouse was making was a totally different sound than that of a crying infant, so of course it would send a mother into a panic because she is not used to that particular sound and it could have meant that there was actually something seriously wrong.
Jebitesevsi 11
Dial it back, Dora the hysteric. Nobody needs your butthurt display.
WritingWrongs 8
What you didn't know was that the cat was trying to save your kid's life from pinky and the brain's nefarious schemes. I bet you didn't even thank him.
IrePandaPotterLe 8
Good old times when they still showed Pinky and The Brain on TV... But...he only killed one of them!What's the other one gonna do now that his friend died and he's probably really mad? OP, you'd better carry around a bat or something to beat the survivor with when he'll come and attack you because your cat killed his friend.
ohSNAPyall 27
I guess you better hope he killed Brain, then.
peachesncreem 21
OP, did the mouse have an unusually large head? If it did, your cat is a hero! He just saved us all! Give him a treat for saving the planet.
Randomness_Too 7
Picasso Kitty.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
More like Jackson Pawllock.
MakeTodayADTR 20
Picatso
BunchieRules 31
Clawed Monet.
Lapeul 6
Leopardo da Vinci.
xio_fml 1
At least now you know your cat loves her....
Tezoma 28
Well, I think to paint them well the cat will need more mice! I hope this cat is artistically talented.
Randomness_Too 7
Would you prefer it had been eating lasagna?
FeroniaMoonscyth 2
Yes. Yes I would've if that were me...
lmbachman 23
omg!!!
isabelm1224 4
tom and jerry at its finest....:9
ohSNAPyall 27
What's the emoticon doing?
BunchieRules 31
46 - I assume it's either A) The cat licking his lips with an evil smile, or B) A typo. Probably the former. :9
LeCielNousAide 7
The cat is simply warning you what will happen if you keep ignoring him for the baby lol
SApprentice 34
That mouse was just a scout, sent by the rat overlords to seek out potential nibbles. Your cat has thwarted their attempt, slaughtering the mouse before he could make his report. The mouse queen has issued a formal sanction against the rat king for his deliberate disregard of rodent life. King rat knew very well that the cat was sitting in wait, and yet he wasted that young mouse's life. The plunder and pillaging will continue in three days time, after the legal proceedings, beginning with the upstairs trashcans and working their way toward the kitchen sink. Telling you all of this makes me a traitor. I request immunity after the war has ended, and cookies. Mostly cookies.
Eiregal2 10
You may hide under my bed, it is very spacious and chocolate and other sweet things hide down there at times so nibble to your hearts content!
Hannahbee1234 5
This is fantastic. Though I'm now afraid of rat lords.
XanderJayNix 17
If I give you a cookie, will you requisition a glass of milk?
Audiobliss 9
*quietly applauds*