Today, I ran into a former co-worker who I hadn't seen in years. She was raving at how I hadn't aged a bit, but before I could thank her she said, "But, you know, chubby people age better." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to a high school reunion. An old friend I hadn't seen in a while suddenly came up to me and gasped, "Oh, thank God!" I was about to greet her and catch up when she added, "I'm not the only one who gained weight!" FML
Today, I was at the gym and saw an old friend. I have put on a lot of muscle in the past few months, and she said to me "Wow, you've really gotten big." Just by habit I said "You too." Turns out she's gained 45 lbs since I'd last seen her. Oops. FML
Today, my grandmother said to me, "You look just like your mother did at your age. Except you're fatter of course." FML
Today, I got to see my best friend for the first time in months. Her first reaction was to say, "Wow, you gained a lot of weight." I actually lost a fair bit. FML
Today, I told my boss her new haircut made her look younger. She smiled and said, “Oh, thank you!” I tried to double down on the compliment and said, “Yeah, like... 20 years ago younger!” She stopped smiling. It turns out that would’ve made her twelve. FML
Today, I went to the store and ran into an old friend that I hadn't seen in years. We chatted a little, and just as I was leaving he grabbed his mobile phone. Later, I added him on Facebook. Turns out the last thing he posted was a picture of my back saying: "Look who got even fatter." FML
Today, I met my cousin after two years. She got really tall and skinny, like a model. I joked saying, "You've grown and gotten slim, and I've stayed the same and have gotten fat." I expected some sort of disagreement. Instead, she looked me up and down, frowned, and gave me a long, sympathetic hug. FML
Today, I went to my parents' house. I recently lost about 30 lbs. My mom hugged me and said, "Aww, you're not my chubby baby girl anymore." She then said she wished I were still fat because she missed it. She's the reason I lost the weight; she used to tease and taunt me. Thanks Mom. FML
Today, I ran into an old student of mine at the grocery store. She didn't recognize me at first so I introduced myself as her old teacher. She looked taken aback for a moment, and then said, "Oh my God... you're still alive?" FML
Today, my friend was complaining about how fat she was. To make her feel better I said, "Psh, you're not fat! In fact we're about the same weight!" She looked at me for a second, then burst into tears sobbing, "I'm fat! I'm fat!" FML
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Top comments
iOceanus 18
What a nice compliment...sort of? At least she thinks you look young. :P Glass half full, OP!
MissMess 12
Ah, that's so snarky. Well, I'd rather be chubby and young looking than stick thin and wrinkly.
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Comments (73)
pipinya 8
42 - are you aware that it still makes absolutely no sense?
etchsanity1 11
Colleen Nichols of New Jersey ... Time to check Facebook and see of you are chubby I will be right back ... You may want to use a Pseudonym in the future;)
fadingaway 17
You say it like there's something wrong with being chubby. Check out fuckyeahchubbygirls on tumblr. Body positivity ftw.
Kingbreezy04 10
"Well bitches always age faster"
TwoOneFive 11
If your chubby and know it, take as a compliment. If you didn't know you we're chubby, you do now.
Kpopluva 11
You should have said bitchy people age faster though
mgrabi01 10
She is jealous!!!!!
Likian5 26
Well hey, that sounds like a compliment to me. Some guys don't mind chubby girls, including me, because they got the curves, but not too many ;) On top of that, you look young and beautiful. You should be expecting some random attractive guy to be hitting on you within the next few weeks.
hienzburgess 9
OP should've still followed up with a cheery thank you. Obviously the coworker hid her snide remark within a compliment.
AnyaS 19
This reminds me of LaCienega Boulevardez who often gave backhanded compliments.