Today, I put on a pair of sneakers that I'd left outside, and went jogging. After several minutes of pain, I pulled off one of the sneakers, only to find dozens of baby spiders had moved in. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML
Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML
Today, I found a horde of ants in one of my socks when I put it on my foot. FML
Today, I was taking off my underwear to change into fresh clothes. Pulling them down, I realize there's a big fat spider in them. Not only did I have a spider chilling with my genitals the whole day, but I'm deathly afraid of them. FML
Today, I saw a huge wolf spider in my room. It ran off and hid before I could kill it, but after two hours looking for it then giving up, I finally found it, with my foot, as I put on my shoes. FML
Today, I put my house shoes on without socks, but felt a rock in them. I shook it free and out dropped a half-crushed roach. FML
Today, I opened a window that had been shut for a couple of months. As soon as I did, dozens of tiny baby spiders blew in with the breeze, and dispersed in my kitchen. FML
Today, while bringing boxes up from the basement, I noticed a few spider egg sacs had stuck to my shirt. As I desperately tried to remove them, they hatched. FML
Today, I was reaching into the floor vent in my toddler's room to retrieve some toys she'd dropped. What I found instead was a clump of large dead spiders. FML
Today, I walked through a spider's web with hundreds of baby spiders on it. My afro is now infested. FML
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Top comments
MikeDa1Da 14
Check your old underpants for the momma spider
ICATiger 13
That's why you don't leave stuff outside.
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Comments (201)
toritilla 0
That sucks
hellokittie 0
dude! i would have screamed and blacked out . im afraid of spiders! hey but they were suffering too, so you guys got equal.:)
Trent_150140 2
EWWW!!!!!! I would have screamed like a woman and fainted :O
tinker9107 1
I wouldn't have waited a few minutes I'm guessing from now on your always going to check first
imblack1318 0
How did your weight not crush them?
wrhowarth 1
If you are stupid enough to leave shoes outside, and put them on, you're a moron!
I_Punch_Babies 7
i agree. why would you leave your shoes outside in the first place? YDI
TheVirtuoso 5
It looks like charlotte just pranked your ass.
Mayberry_Brown 9
Your comment just made my day. : )
JayBear14 11
I'd go to the doctor, Black widows are notorious for finding dark places to hide in and lay eggs, especially if they are old sneakers that have been sitting in a garage.
chili_is_good 0
Correct me if I'm wrong but I think black widows don't live in New Jersey.
DocBastard 40
Actually widow spiders are indigenous to every continent except Antarctica.
luisgm11 6
I thinks if they were that many black widows she wouldn't have lived to post this..
andreajassel 0
At least they didn't bite,......
GoW_Chick 15
Aw don't fret you just made a dozen of creepy, eight legged, possibly poisonous new friends. :)
newmandotcom 6
Actually there's no such thing as a poisonous spider. Or even a poisonous snake. They inject "VENOM" not "POISON". Therefore, they would be considered ""VENOMOUS".