Animals: Today, I put my good shoes out the window and on the roof to...

By baconman86 - 03/10/2010 22:24 - United States

Today, I put my good shoes out the window and on the roof to dry out because they were sopping wet. When I went to check them later on, they were still wet. And soaked in bird poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 155

You deserved it 27 060

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Same thing different taste

By oops1234 - 16/04/2009 14:38 - United States

Today, I discovered that I had left my sunroof open all night during a storm and my front seats was soaked. I grabbed a towel for my seat but didn't close my sunroof because it was nice out. As I pull out of my driveway, I felt something wet hit my forehead. A bird shit on me through my sunroof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 501

You deserved it 17 447

By StinkFoot - 28/10/2018 13:30

Today, I was pet sitting for a friend. As soon as I walked in the door, I stepped in dog poop. I took off my shoes to clean them, then stepped in cat pee in my socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 847

You deserved it 371

Do a backflip!

By Anonymous - 22/02/2024 00:00 - Australia

Today, I walked out into my backyard. As I did so, my dogs ran past me, slamming the sliding door off its track. I went to catch it, and knocked the bird cage over. To complete the fumble, as I turned to catch the bird cage, I stepped in a dog turd. I wasn't wearing shoes. We're all okay, but… FML

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 129

I want to smell feet

By Anonymous - 16/08/2021 14:01

Today, my idiot son incinerated his shoes in the oven. They were wet and he wanted to "quick-dry" them, so now the whole house smells terrible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 890

You deserved it 146

By blabla - 28/10/2011 13:30 - Brazil

Today, I rushed home during a torrential downpour. When I got back, I went to take a pee and took off my wet socks while I had the chance. Once I finished, I stood up with used toilet paper in one hand and wet socks in the other. Guess which I tossed into the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 313

You deserved it 12 995

Hello little guy

By Anonymous - 14/05/2021 00:00

Today, I put my house shoes on without socks, but felt a rock in them. I shook it free and out dropped a half-crushed roach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 986

You deserved it 104

By hitchcock2013 - 07/05/2013 17:10 - United States - Taylor

Today, I did my small part to help the environment by hanging my clothes outside to dry rather than using the dryer. The birds showed their appreciation by crapping on the majority of my clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 703

You deserved it 13 300

By life_suxxx - 17/12/2009 06:09 - United States

Today, I come home to find that my dog has taken a dump on my bed. I quickly put on my house shoes to avoid possibly stepping on any other of his turds. I felt something squish all over my right foot. He also took a dump in my house shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 548

You deserved it 4 899

Morning surprise

By JayBausch - 17/08/2009 20:48 - United States

Today, I went to retrieve my sneakers that my wife made me leave outside the door of our hotel room. Somebody had shat in one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 752

You deserved it 7 060

From a great height

By Anonymous - 08/05/2021 21:59

Today, I was sitting on the back porch with my husband. I felt two raindrops land on my head, so I said we should go inside because it was starting to rain. It turned out to just be a bird shitting on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 995

You deserved it 93

CRrawsum 7

Monday 4 October 2010 2:18

that is too funny

illmatic2 16

Monday 4 October 2010 2:26

How would a car help out at all?

Comments

bigbadtim 7

Monday 4 October 2010 2:25

Why would you put them on the roof to dry them? Put them on a door step, so you won't get bird crap on them.

yuggi1 11

Monday 4 October 2010 2:32

If it's meant to be, it's meant to be. :p

Phustercluck 11

Monday 4 October 2010 2:25

I love cinnamon puns.

HahaHokayThen 10

Monday 4 October 2010 2:27

Roof? why the roof? that's retarded.

sam_08_fml 0

Monday 4 October 2010 2:29

Better than putting them in the dryer

HahaHokayThen 10

Monday 4 October 2010 2:44

Haha. why would you wash shoes anyway? I'd use a damp cloth & dab it until the stain comes out, or take it to the cleaners. & if you can put them in the washer, why can't you put them in the dryer? lol.

sam_08_fml 0

Monday 4 October 2010 2:51

Cause the rubber will peel off more than likely lol

HahaHokayThen 10

Monday 4 October 2010 4:15

seriously? oh, haha. it doesn't with flats. that sounded hypocritical & completely went against my last comment. but whatever. this is FML.

anorexicbarbie 8

Monday 4 October 2010 7:02

Are you really laughing when you type 'haha'?

HahaHokayThen 10

Monday 4 October 2010 7:20

no. I just type it too much. I prefer haha over lol.

Lilllly_1316 0

Monday 4 October 2010 2:27

Put 'em in the dryer. ;)

sam_08_fml 0

Monday 4 October 2010 2:32

Much help that would do

TheTigerRoars 0

Monday 4 October 2010 2:41

Put them in front of the refrigerator. -.- -Fluffy McTiger

FarFromHome_fml 17

Thursday 10 March 2016 15:15

That won't do much good for decent shoes. Under a radiator or in an airing cupboard on the other hand...

metal8214 0

Monday 4 October 2010 2:27

yummy :)

sam_08_fml 0

Monday 4 October 2010 2:27

Sucks to be you lol 

CAbullet_Caitlin 0

Monday 4 October 2010 2:27

wait so did you like use a ladder to climb up on the roof? lol I just saw that as I was reading this..

baconman86 0

Monday 4 October 2010 3:06

no, on the second story I can open the window and stick stuff on a roof that's beside my room

TheTigerRoars 0

Monday 4 October 2010 2:29

Well, you should have been killing those pesky, flying rodents to begin with so they don't attack your paws with their feces. I hate those vermin. -Fluffy McTiger