How do you know she never loved her? That's a pile of horsecrap. Birth parents frequently give up the child to give them a better life than they can offer. Giving up a child can be an incredibly selfless act of love.

That's an exception to the rule.

@49: I would agree with all you say except the "never loved you" part. We don't know that. There could be very good reason she gave OP up for adoption. But, as a matter of fact, she did give her up and she didn't take care of her. The people who did love her and did take care of her are the only parents she needs and if I was in her situation I wouldn't hurt them this much, out of love and respect for them, just to meet someone that never played any role in my life.

I'll correct myself, probably never loved her.

usually people want to meet their birth parents out of curiosity and get to know why they were adopted and such. I'm adopted and I have met my birth mother a few times and my adopted parents are fine with it, it's only natural to feel like you need/want to meet your birth parents also the birth mother probably did love her but couldn't due to medical reasons lifestyle reasons and wanted the best for her.

She gave me up because she wasn't in a good situation and wanted me to have a good life. She got her shit together later but it was too late to get me back obviously. I don't have any bad feelings towards her, and I understand where my parents (and you) are coming from. I still wanted to know my heritage and medical history and know why she gave me up. like I said in later comments, I just wanted to meet her. I don't want her to be my new mommy.

Pona, you don't know this woman! Don't speak for her. She probably did love her kid but couldn't keep her, that's how it usually is. Honestly it's good to meet your birth mother because then you can get your medical history.

The OP isn't disregarding anyone's feelings. I'm sure she's talked to her family about it and tried to reason with them. And who are you to say that she never loved the child she gave up? Often a child is given up because the mother loves it TOO much.

Because you obviously know the situation. Maybe the bio mother thought it was best to put OP up for adoption.

My mother had me when she was 19. She was taking Birth Control at the time and she still had me and still raised me but she could have easily said I'm 19 I can't take care of a child on my own. If I put her up for adoption she has a better chance at a better future than if I keep her. Sh!t happens and if she had put me up for adoption I would try to find her because what if something medical was happening to me? I would want/need to know the medical history of my birth family. (Example: At least three people in my family had/ is battling cancer. My Grandma's sister married a man that died of a heart attack at 50 and her son after battling cancer died at 50 of a heart attack. Mental heath issues run on both sides of my family. These are things a person needs to know.) In School we had projects where we had to talk about our heritage, I would want to know if I'm Irish, German, Italian, half Native American half Nordic or something. There is nothing wrong with tracking down your birth parents ever. OP sounds like a sweet girl who knows who loves her and knows who was there for her all these years.