Sex, Solitude and Intimacy: Today, I met a man at the bar, and he asked me to go home with...

By Anonymous - 31/07/2010 23:24 - United States

Today, I met a man at the bar, and he asked me to go home with him. The problem? He's 80. I'm 29. The bigger problem? I considered it. It's been that long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 859

You deserved it 17 840

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Same thing different taste

Brutally honest

By thisucks - 28/01/2010 13:59 - Canada

Today, I went out on a date with a guy significantly older than myself. I told him I really liked him because I can have an intelligent conversation with him, unlike most guys my age. He told me he just wanted to get into my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 347

You deserved it 11 000

Gross

By Anonymous - 19/09/2018 13:30

Today, a man easily 30 years older than me said hi in a bar, but I didn’t engage. Apparently that meant "Please rub your junk on my leg." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 510

You deserved it 268

Missed the signs?

By Anonymous - 02/07/2022 04:00

Today, my husband and I visited a new bar in our city. It turned out to be a swingers sex club. He asked if we could stay and try it out, even though we were easily the oldest people there by about 30 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 815

You deserved it 153

Casual perv

By Anonymous - 31/03/2009 01:13 - United States

Today, I was ringing an old man up in the local grocery store when I had realized all he was buying was 3 bottles of vodka and a box of condoms. While I was loading the bags into his cart he laid his hand on my shoulder and told me, "I'd take you home with me but chances are I would be arrested". FML

I agree, your life sucks 111 474

You deserved it 6 034

That's creepy, dude

By Anonymous - 04/10/2021 11:01

Today, I'm 20 years-old and I was propositioned by a 42 year-old man, who turned out to be my dad's friend who helped care for me when I was 2 to 7 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 130

You deserved it 72

By Eimii - 06/10/2009 00:41 - United States

Today, my 70 year-old coworker gave me a letter telling me he was attracted to me, and wishes to have a relationship in which he can 'hold me in his arms every night'. I'm 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 148

You deserved it 3 303

Cougar

By Anonymous - 24/04/2015 21:46 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, a cute new guy I always run into at work hit on me. Turns out he's only 18. I'm old enough to be his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 343

You deserved it 4 054

He gets around

By Anonymous - 24/04/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, when my dad said he was dating a woman he met at his retirees social club, I assumed it was a woman also in her 60s. Nope. Barmaid. A whole 42 years younger than him, 9 years younger than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 313

You deserved it 59

By bruh_im18 - 17/09/2016 16:18 - United States - Metairie

Today, I found out the 28-year-old I am dating is actually 48. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 037

You deserved it 2 598

I'm too old for this shit

By HateCelebz - 15/09/2023 06:00

Today, I went out for drinks with two 18 year-old girls and a 30 year-old woman. I'm 53, and wanted to hook up with the 30 year-old. She got drunk after an hour and went home in a taxi, meanwhile the two 18 year-olds drank me under the table. I'm sat with them trying to sober up so I can walk home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 138

You deserved it 951

A1V 5

Sunday 1 August 2010 9:26

Don't ever be that desperate... ew.

Azlia 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 9:34

it really doesn't sound that bad. anyone still picking up girls in a bar at 80 has got to have some fun and spunk in there.

Comments

vanny08 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 9:38

was it hefner.?

abalgatti 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 9:39

imagine his stamina, unless he falls asleep

gusgus36 5

Sunday 1 August 2010 9:40

gross... he could be your grandpa. if you're that desperate, go on eharmony or something. but even thinking about going home with an 80-year-old, ew.

xchrist 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 10:01

whats eharmony

oohlalaaliya 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 9:40

Don't think of yourself as desperate, OP. Tell your friends you have yourself a sugar daddy :D they will never know.

soadgroupie 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 9:40

mmm grandaddy UGH YES HARDER

adorkable_spazz 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 11:39

lmao

Skyline969 1

Sunday 1 August 2010 11:47

Haha, gramps: "Who's your daddy? Who's your GRANDdaddy?"

singer4life666 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 9:42

Desperation at its lowest point. Haha.

janelly16 7

Sunday 1 August 2010 9:44

hopefully u were drinking when u considered this

captainPIRATEche 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 9:46

ahahaha! that horrable! fyl op go get a yooooounger man!

Hump_Zilla 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 9:56

is that the guy with the old balls?

fernandita91 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 10:04

lol go get it grampa !!!

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Today, a man yelled at me for what seemed like an eternity when I told him his child wasn't tall enough to ride a roller-coaster. His daughter was about 3 years-old. The coaster is the second tallest in the world. I deal with morons like this every day, at minimum wage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 635

You deserved it 119

Today, I drove to a job interview. I had to sneeze, but because I was driving on the highway, I didn't let go of the wheel to cover my mouth. I didn't know the sneeze was a "productive" one until I was sitting in the interview, looked down at my new blouse, and saw the giant lugie sitting there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 408

You deserved it 8 930

The Top

Today, I was walking home when a man passed me and stopped. Thinking he was staring at my butt, I asked him kindly to stop. He then laughed and grabbed my wallet that was in my back pocket, and ran. He wasn't staring at my butt, and found it funny that I thought he was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 526

You deserved it 16 189

Today, I divorced my husband of 20 years. The only positive thing about my day was my pregnancy test. Yes, it was his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 098

You deserved it 9 012

Today, just a few minutes after I got to work, my usually laconic boss came into my office and said, "Pack your stuff and get the f*ck out." Apparently, half my department was being downsized. Thinking it was an April Fool's, I burst out laughing and told him how funny the prank was. He wasn't kidding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 859

You deserved it 4 589

Today, my girlfriend tried to clean out the fireplace with a vacuum cleaner, she sucked up a bunch of embers which set the vacuum on fire. After a crying for a bit, she went back to finish cleaning up only to find that some embers she dumped in a bucket melted through and set part of the carpet on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 672

You deserved it 3 927

Today, my girlfriend called me from her parents' house where she is visiting. They were BBQing outside when out of the blue her childhood friend Adam showed up at the door for the BBQ. She asked her parents why he was there, and her dad replied that he "wants her to know that she has options." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 686

You deserved it 2 987

Today, at my place of work in a fast-food restaurant, a customer called in and bitched at me that her warm food was weirdly cold. That is, after she drove 45 minutes from the restaurant to her house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 299

You deserved it 1 729

Same thing different taste

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