Health: Today, I'm the coach of a football team. To celebrate winning...

By blue. - 19/05/2011 23:32

Today, I'm the coach of a football team. To celebrate winning a game, they poured a cooler of blue Gatorade over my head. This would've been great, if not for the fact that I'm highly allergic to blue food dye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 216

You deserved it 3 456

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 25/09/2009 22:53 - Canada

Today, I went our school's football game against their rival team. Before the games started, I got my school's logo painted on my face. After nearly 5 hours of watching the game, I went home to wash the paint off my face, only to find the logo had been sunburned onto my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 311

You deserved it 35 414

Who gave him that?

By Ewyucky - 21/06/2022 06:00 - Canada - Wilberforce

Today, my 3 year-old son projectile vomited on me. I was covered head to toe in blue Gatorade vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 632

You deserved it 868

Jello? Is it pee you're looking for?

By Yudith - 07/06/2023 16:00 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, in the bus, my Gatorade bottle's badly screwed cap resulted in my Jello being ruined and yellow Gatorade poured all over myself, the seat, and the floor. It looks like I pissed myself, and I still have to go through a whole building where several of my colleagues live before making it home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 585

You deserved it 228

By gatorhead - 09/09/2010 18:05 - United States

Today, while eating lunch, one of my friends told a joke that made everyone at the table laugh. Apparently, the guy standing behind me overheard and was laughing too. So much in fact that he spewed the red Gatorade he was drinking all over the back of my white shirt and hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 464

You deserved it 2 498

Benched

By fmlprobot - 04/06/2009 23:48 - United States

Today, my baseball team had a game and one of our best players was injured sliding into first. I'm pretty fast so when the coach called my name I grabbed a helmet assuming it was finally my chance to get in the game. Turns out he just wanted me to get ice. The entire team couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 403

You deserved it 4 674

Running on empty

By Dehydrated - 01/09/2015 11:07 - United States - Charlotte

Today, at soccer, I repeatedly asked my coach for water as I was feeling light headed. His response every time was, "Five more minutes". Eventually, I got so dehydrated that I passed out. The first thing my coach said when I woke up was, "Why didn't you get some water?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 555

You deserved it 2 769

Harsh

By notonasoccertam - 06/09/2020 10:09 - United States

Today, I made my school's soccer team. I told the coach that since I have diabetes, I might need to sit out occasionally. He promptly erased my name and said he didn't accept "slackers." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 531

You deserved it 209

By Anonymous - 27/08/2013 18:39 - United States - East Northport

Today, at soccer tryouts, the coach made us run the entire practice. I ran the whole two hours ahead of everyone. When the tryout ended, I vomited due to dehydration. I didn't make the team. The coach's reasoning: "Only the weak throw up". FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 972

You deserved it 5 196

By Anonymous - 04/03/2013 22:24 - United States

Today, my coach held a BBQ for the whole team. He told us to eat up, because we wouldn't be working out today. He lied. After eating the equivalent of a Thanksgiving dinner, we had to do team relays. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 389

You deserved it 4 857

By jj - 07/11/2014 05:47 - Australia - Windermere Park

Today, I was sick and had soccer trials on the same day. At the soccer trials, the coach called me over and told me I was doing really good and to keep it up. I said thanks and vomited on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 098

You deserved it 3 357

kingtz 6

Friday 20 May 2011 8:53

Did people just stand there and watch you go into anaphylatic shock, thinking it was your celebration dance?

mrahhhhh 21

Friday 20 May 2011 9:25

Are you gonna dye?

Comments

Dominoes 0

Saturday 21 May 2011 1:08

I think the real tradgedy is that you can't have blue gatorade.

orangeooninja 0

Saturday 21 May 2011 2:23

oh, it just HAPPENED to be blue huh?

laliique_31 0

Saturday 21 May 2011 4:21

oh! today you were the coach of a football team. what you were yesterday?

BlueStarPansa 0

Saturday 21 May 2011 5:21

why the color blue?! Wtf

savy7093 9

Saturday 21 May 2011 16:42

That is how this website works... They're supposed to all say "Today, ..."

oliviliv 0

Saturday 21 May 2011 21:21

My friends allergic to that...

jrgigl 0

Saturday 21 May 2011 21:23

aren't all color dyes the same thing?

I_Deserved_It 8

Tuesday 24 May 2011 6:20

Different chemical compounds give you different colors. So no, they are far from being the same thing.

toaster2013 3

Sunday 22 May 2011 5:08

is that even possible!

ArielTheMermaid 17

Wednesday 14 September 2011 22:32

Clearly, since he is.....

twoequalsthree 0

Sunday 22 May 2011 7:58

so fake. you can't be allergic to a specific color. it would be all food dye. fake and gay.

nonamericandolla 6

Saturday 28 May 2011 5:40

oh! poor thing are u ok?

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The Top

Today, my boss made me run yet another stupid errand. When I delivered the paperwork to his office, I saw an email printout on his desk. Apparently, he has a plan in the works to get me "fried" next month. I'm not sure whether to give him a letter of resignation or a bottle of barbecue sauce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 359

You deserved it 2 739

Today, I stuffed my buttcrack with toilet paper right before my job interview because I tend to sweat there a lot and I was wearing a white skirt. I went to the bathroom afterward to take it out but it wasn't there anymore. It could have only gone up two places. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 761

You deserved it 15 563

The Top

Today, I had to do 40 squats with a medicine ball. I always made fun of medicine balls my whole life because they looked so easy that even senior citizens did them. I passed out in the middle of the gym. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 801

You deserved it 40 651

Today, my varsity swim team got second place in the State meet. My coach said I could bring the trophy home for the weekend. On the way home, I accidentally sat on it and broke it, cutting my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 344

You deserved it 36 087

Today, my twit of a husband admitted to falling for an internet scam involving a dead foreign politician, the promise of a share in millions of dollars currently stuck in a bank, and him having wired a large amount of our money to "bribe an official". FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 778

You deserved it 4 909

Today, during dinner, my mom told my dad and me in great detail about the "awesome" new cosmetic surgery idea she just had: constructing earlobes for lobeless ears, using skin taken from women's labia. I was forced to sit through this until I finished my plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 344

You deserved it 4 292

Today, I lost my job. I was so upset that I put in my favorite mix CD of all the songs that get me feeling better. While scanning for my favorite song, I hit the car in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 192

You deserved it 37 238

Today, at a baseball game, I smiled and waved at the little girl in front of me. She cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 835

You deserved it 2 407