By Sharriff Rahman - 5/8/2021 00:01

Mystery

  Today, I found out that my wife of ten years is still deeply in love with her first crush from before she met me. Now I'm starting to wonder whether her first time was really with me, as mine was with her. FML
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By  Chazzster  |  22

After 10 years it doesn’t matter at all (if it ever did) if your wife was a virgin when you first had sex or not. It barely matters what yours and her pre-marriage life was like. It matters a lot what the 10 years of your marriage have been and what it is now.

It sounds to me like you are feeling insecure in your relationship. You should have a quiet and non-confrontational talk with your wife and ask if she loves you and if she wants to stay married to you. For Gods sake don’t bring up anything from before your marriage! Stick to what actually matters - Now and the future.

By  RichardPencil  |  30

How can you not be sure that your first time was with her? You were there, weren't you?

Instead of obsessing about her first time, you ought to focus on her last time with the other dude. Was it 12 years ago or last weekend?

COMMENTS
By  Chazzster  |  22

After 10 years it doesn’t matter at all (if it ever did) if your wife was a virgin when you first had sex or not. It barely matters what yours and her pre-marriage life was like. It matters a lot what the 10 years of your marriage have been and what it is now.

It sounds to me like you are feeling insecure in your relationship. You should have a quiet and non-confrontational talk with your wife and ask if she loves you and if she wants to stay married to you. For Gods sake don’t bring up anything from before your marriage! Stick to what actually matters - Now and the future.

By  RichardPencil  |  30

How can you not be sure that your first time was with her? You were there, weren't you?

Instead of obsessing about her first time, you ought to focus on her last time with the other dude. Was it 12 years ago or last weekend?

By  Vesi  |  28

"Seventy-two virgins? Why not 72 slutty broads who know what the hell they're doing?" Walter, Jeff Dunham: Spark of Insanity

In all honesty.. Why on earth are SO many people hung up on virginity? Since when does a little piece of skin matter? She could be WELL versed in bed without having actually had penetrative sex.. even better, sometimes it is not even there or stretchy enough it doesn't "break".

First crush is just that.. a crush. It was before your time and even if she still "loves" him now, that does not make any difference to your own relationship. We ARE capable of loving more than one person. You're only concern should be fidelity AFTER your marriage if that is what you two agreed on.

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  Bogrbon  |  24

Lying and deception leading up to or during the marriage, or about what happened before is still a betrayal of sorts. Lying will still fuck up your relationships. How much would you trust someone you found out had been lying to you for 10 years of your marriage about something she thought you'd find significant. It wouldn't be a justifiable issue if when the subject came up she'd said "I've been with an ex-BF in the past before I knew you." It'd be all on him for being judgmental. But lying, especially if it indicates that she's lying about her commitment to the relationship, or maybe more, is definitely an issue in a marriage. I know someone whose family and husband found out about a kid she'd had and put up for adoption before they met, when the child came looking for her biological parents as an adult. Totally blew up the family. Same thing about just about any family secret. It's different to know you were adopted as a kid and to find out as a young adult your parents lied to you and you were adopted.

Relationships require trust and dishonesty breaks that trust.