Today, I'm a student vet. Part of my holiday work is to gain experience working at a dairy. A cow came on to the platform for me to inject her udder. As I was bent over, she decided to take a dump. Onto my left eyeball. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, it was my first day working at a milking parlor. As I crouched behind a cow to put on an udder cluster, I looked up and gasped just in time for the cow to crap on my face. FML
Today, I found out what it feels like to have a cow take a large, flatulent shit with my arm still elbow-deep inside their rectum. FML
Today, I broke my glasses. How did I break my glasses? A cow kicked me in the face at work. FML
Today, at work, I got chilli powder in my eye. Now not only do I have a swollen, blistered eye, but I am covered in milk as my boss assured me that would help. FML
Today, I went into the farm where I work. Within the first 30 minutes I slipped on a fresh cow pie and broke my ankle. FML
Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML
Today, I was at my job as a dental assistant and I was told to take an X-ray of a woman's teeth. As soon as I put the foam piece into her mouth, she projectile-vomited all over me and the floor. I had just started my 5-hour shift. FML
Today, I was hit in the face by the placenta of a cow that had just given birth. FML
Today, while driving, we pulled up at a set of traffic lights next to a huge truck with live animals inside. Curious as to exactly what animal, I wound down my window to see if I could hear them, just in time for the truck to take off and cow shit to fly in my face. FML
Today, during my shift as a vet nurse, I picked up a gorgeous cat for cuddles, only to discover it was covered with pee. And now I am too. I still have 4 hours of my shift. FML
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Top comments
dtbomb 3
What a shitty job. lol
SayItNicely 0
Do you happen to work at the same place as the person who asked for a bottle of milk? Then that wouldn't seem so weird...
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Comments (110)
Nazi_DinoSauR 0
I think that cow hates you?
ChristianDE 0
can anyone say pink-eye ? hahaha .
jarrettd 27
ready aim fire 1 point for cow's getting back at humans
jacdude 0
At least it was a tiny dump. To only hit your eyeball.
Clubkicker_fml 0
Yum yum yum yum yum, DELICIOUS
retardslol 0
Go in from the side retard you deserve that.
anngirl1988 0
I don't buy it... My dads a farmer and never once has he been shit on while doing something with the utters. If this is true then what the **** was your face doing in the stream of cow shit anyways?? Next time approach from the side... Makes more sense anyways.
imgabella 16
You got a pat on the head.
gatorgirl7563 22
You shouldn't have been positioned behind her anyway. That's as dangerous an area as with horses. You are LUCKY, OP. Lucky you got pooped on on your head instead of kicked in the head. Anyway, you're there to get work experience and not all experience is pleasant. At least, with your in-progress med degree, you know the warning signs of eye infection better than most people stupid enough to antagonize a cow while their face is located near sharp hooves and under its butthole.
DevoutOccamist 12
Cows kick to the side and.poop out the back. the best place to stand is behind a rear leg.