Animals: Today, I left my sunroof on my truck open for 5 minutes while... - FML

By seagull hater - 09/07/2012 15:44 - United States - San Diego

Today, I left my sunroof on my truck open for 5 minutes while I ran into the bank. When I came out, a seagull had gotten into my truck. I managed to open the doors and get it out, but not before it tore up a seat and pooped everywhere inside my truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 683

You deserved it 7 443

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By tristaph - 01/08/2018 00:00

Today, a bird took a dump on my truck as I was driving and the wind pushed it into the keyhole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 370

You deserved it 182

By oops1234 - 16/04/2009 14:38 - United States

Today, I discovered that I had left my sunroof open all night during a storm and my front seats was soaked. I grabbed a towel for my seat but didn't close my sunroof because it was nice out. As I pull out of my driveway, I felt something wet hit my forehead. A bird shit on me through my sunroof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 503

You deserved it 17 447

Alexa, play "I Ran" by A Flock of Seagulls

By John - 10/07/2013 02:48 - United States

Today, while leaving McDonald's, I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watched in the rear-view mirror as it landed in the opposite lane and about 60 winged rats descended upon the street, causing a truck to veer off the road and crash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 101

You deserved it 50 740

Raincheck

By noo - 07/06/2009 21:49 - United States

Today, I locked myself out of my truck for the first time. While trying to unlock it, it started to rain. After half an hour, I successfully unlocked the door and then drove over my bookbag, which I had placed underneath the truck to keep it out of the rain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 429

You deserved it 14 693

By yuck - 09/12/2018 03:30 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was out riding and a seagull pissed on me. It got in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 620

You deserved it 237

Tasty

By Anonymous - 09/07/2023 03:00 - United States

Today, I went to the supermarket and picked up some groceries, along with what I thought was a bag of chips. I ripped it open in the car and realized it was a bag of birdseed. As I spat out the birdseed through the car's open window and tried to clean the mess, a pigeon flew into my car and attacked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 827

All in a day's work!

By Joshtodon - 21/08/2018 22:00

Today, I was unloading tile boxes out of my pickup truck into this lady's garage. As I grabbed the last 50-pound box, a passing bird shat on my forehead. Green ooze ran down my whole face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 808

You deserved it 168

By grann - 15/03/2010 01:39 - United States

Today, while walking to my car through the snow, I noticed the sunroof was open and 2 feet of snow had poured in. Angry, I opened the door to start cleaning. That's when I noticed all the wildlife that had taken refuge inside from the cold. Not only were my seat cushions wet, they were torn open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 884

You deserved it 26 319

Clever

By FMLTIMESTWO - 10/06/2009 04:36 - United States

Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 555

You deserved it 61 960

By andrea99 - 03/10/2010 09:35 - United States

Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 657

You deserved it 3 415

Next

Top comments

the_enigma1019 1

Monday 9 July 2012 19:13

Well, be glad that it was only one, were we live they come in swarms.

MindFreakazoid 10

Monday 9 July 2012 19:13

He's gotta do what he's gotta do.

Comments

hateevryone 14

Tuesday 10 July 2012 4:18

Lesson Learned

karlyshep 4

Wednesday 11 July 2012 8:49

Why would you leave it open in the first place??

Joui_fml 11

Saturday 14 July 2012 1:47

Don't leave your sunroof open when your not in the car in any event.

mattlw 25

Monday 8 April 2013 2:57

I hate seagulls, they a terrifying!

Keywords

Music Boredom Transportation Annoying Embarrassing Awkward Cars Family Relatable Kids Babysitter Thief Money Miscellaneous Food Farts Gross Health Depression Mental health Weird Creepy AITA Pregnancy Star Wars Facebook Social Media Wanker Work Bodyshaming

The Top

Today, I had to call a customer. I usually try to avoid calling customers because I have a very prominent speech impediment. Well, it turns out the customer I called also has a speech impediment and thought I was mocking her. She hung up on me and filed a formal complaint with my company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 802

You deserved it 624

Today, as my husband normally initiates sex and sometimes I want to but always chicken out, I was feeling brave and did so. After he came, he continued working on me and I farted. I embarrassingly apologized and he said it was ok and kept going. I then continued to fart, and I had to stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 391

You deserved it 277

The Top

Today, I got a heads-up that my boss suffered a death in the family, but was coming into work anyway. I thought he'd be depressed, but it seems he deals with grief with anger instead. I found that out when he yelled at me, threatening to rip my spine out my ass over a typo I made in a report. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 881

You deserved it 1 398

Today, I was eating ice cream and struggling to chew a particularly hard chunk of chocolate. After finally breaking it into pieces, I spat it out because it tasted terrible. Then I discovered that I was missing my temporary crown. Now I have no upper molar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 195

You deserved it 6 415

Today, I realized I don't have a family, I only have garbage people who have been sucking my time, my money, and my life from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 700

You deserved it 112

Today, it's been months since my spouse has talked to me. I'm currently in a timezone that's almost double digits difference. Not even a "Have a good day!" Big ass fuck you I guess. Yet they're always on, then gets off shortly after I'm on Facebook Messenger. Makes sense, right? Shady. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 119

Today, I got home from a long day of work and saw a pile of dog puke on the kitchen floor. I went to get paper towels and found a pile of dog shit. With my foot. Both of my kids were home all day and left the piles for me to clean because "that's gross". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 944

You deserved it 463

Today, I was forced to go to the mall with my dad. He wore a bear suit the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 217

You deserved it 5 153