Animals: Today, I learned that when someone says "I know what you did"...

By Anonymous - 27/11/2009 14:13 - United States

Today, I learned that when someone says "I know what you did" it's better not to confess right away, because sometimes they could be talking about leaving the computer on all night, and not talking about giving the family dog away and telling everyone it ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 118

You deserved it 52 094

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Same thing different taste

Self report

By banana12321 - 02/04/2015 04:40 - United States - Fresno

Today, I thought I had gotten away with throwing a party while my folks were gone the night before. They came home and I was as sweet as possible. I could tell they were not buying it, but I thought I was in the clear. Later, they told me I had drunk-dialled them and spilled the beans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 204

You deserved it 30 466

NDA FML

By Anonymous - 12/11/2021 16:00 - United States - Corpus Christi

Today, a coworker told me something I didn't realize was confidential, until later when my boss called me, saying someone may have shared something confidential with me, and me, not thinking so, said I don't think anyone did. We hung up, they called back and elaborated, and it dawned on me now they think I'm a liar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 833

You deserved it 163

Brain fart

By jonjon - 13/06/2010 13:16 - United States

Today, after spending the evening with friends, I went home and realized that the living room light was on. Thinking someone was robbing me, I hid behind a bush. I got impatient and crept up to the door. Then I remembered that I'd left the light on before I left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 954

You deserved it 47 290

The betrayal

By Anonymous - 14/02/2022 16:01

Today, like an idiot, I accidentally included stuff I learned from snooping in my daughter's secret diary during a conversation with her. She's not happy at me right now, so I may have to polish off my old grovelling skills from when I was still married to her mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 124

You deserved it 2 391

Self report

By Anonymous - 25/05/2009 14:55 - United States

Today, I snuck out of my house in the middle of the night. I ran into my dad carrying wine into another house. I didn't assume he was cheating until he saw me and said, "I won't tell if you don't tell, please don't tell your mother." FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 024

You deserved it 5 524

By Anonymous - 20/01/2011 10:55 - Australia

Today, I wrote a mental note: don't tell a couple of nuns that you used black magic to fix their computer. Then don't tell the story to your boss just as the nuns walk back in again. Then don't say "speak of the devil" to them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 464

You deserved it 38 049

Keep quiet

By PoorAndabroke - 28/05/2022 22:00

Today, I learned that you shouldn’t announce on social media that you’re leaving on vacation for a week. Your house might get broken into, and all your electronics will be missing. They were kind enough to leave a note saying, “If you can afford a vacation, you can afford to replace all this shit. Have fun!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 1 392

By Pooperscooper - 20/07/2009 18:45 - France

Today, I learned when you're babysitting a 5 year old, and you hear the toilet flush and then the words "uh oh", it's already too late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 667

You deserved it 6 872

Blame the pooch

By anamota89 - 11/05/2012 09:33 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 336

You deserved it 32 285

By Luke - 07/11/2011 14:53 - United States

Today, I discovered that if you are being mugged, never tell your mugger you are going to call the police because he will come back and steal your phone too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 378

You deserved it 36 384

somela 0

Friday 27 November 2009 20:11

YDI and you suck I hope your family puts you up for adoption, so you know how your dog felt

studentwoes 2

Friday 27 November 2009 20:09

Don't you watch TV?? Of course you never confess!

Comments

bballboy91 0

Friday 27 November 2009 22:51

Maybe I should kill you and tell your family you ran away...

meorz 0

Saturday 28 November 2009 1:46

You are a complete ******* idiot, a human life is far greater then one of an animal. You cannot even come close to comparing the two.

CheeseHater 23

Saturday 28 November 2009 13:19

Meorz you stupid meat-head, humans are brutal, selfish killing-machines. Dogs on the other hand, are harmless (mostly), peaceful and sometimes beautiful animals who have done nothing wrong. We humans suck and should be extinguished as soon as possible so that earth once again can be atleast almost peaceful. With this said I hope you understand that dogs are worth over 10 000 times as much as a dumbass-human... OT: OP, you're an ass however if you gave the dog away because of that the dog was a pain in the ass, or if you just did it because YOU didn't like it so I hate you already.

scateice 0

Friday 27 November 2009 22:55

You could always get a cat. They're cleaner and not so much a pain in the ass

DameGreyWulf 0

Friday 27 November 2009 23:24

I disagree, and I adore cats. I mean, yes they are cleaner, but they're only not a pain in the ass if you know what you're doing. Cats are very prideful, and tend to be a bit bitchier or brattier than dogs.