Today, I learned that it's cute when a goat comes up to you and licks your face. That is, until you realize that goat was just eating poison ivy. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I went to a petting zoo to take pictures. I look down to see a goat chewing the sleeve of my new sweater, so as I reached down to get it loose, it started eating my hair. People took pictures of me wrestling the goat before they helped me. FML
Today, my friend thought it'd be a great idea to drag me a new fitness trend - goat yoga. Mid-session, the goat had a nibble on my hair, and I ended up having to do a downward dog while trying to dodge a very friendly but mischievous farm animal. FML
Today, while petting one of the goats we have, the other one was jealous so it ripped out a chunk of my hair. FML
Today, I went to a petting zoo with my niece and nephew. While we were checking out the llamas, one of them spat directly into my face. Disgusted and embarrassed, we turned away to pet a deer. The deer immediately urinated, then shook its tail, which splattered it into my face. FML
Today, I borrowed a goat from a coworker to clear out an overgrown section of our yard. It worked great, except for the part where the goat butted me on my ass. Of course my wife was filming and laughing, and later put it on Instagram. FML
Today, I took my toddler to a petting zoo and warned her not to stick her fingers in the goat pen. Two minutes later, I stuck my finger in to pet one, and it bit me. She looked me dead in the eyes and said, “See? I told you.” FML
Today, I woke up with a rash all across my body. Last night, my boyfriend and I got it on in some bushes, and it seems one of those was poison ivy. FML
Today, I went to an amusement park with my ex in the hopes of re-kindling our relationship. While taking a break at the petting zoo, I got rammed in the balls by a goat. She laughed and patted the goat. FML
Today, I took the kids I'm babysitting to the farm to feed the animals. They were a little scared of the llama, so I showed them how nice it was by feeding it a lot of bread. Then, as I was telling the farmer how I loved the llama and wanted to take it home, it spit grass and bread all over my face. FML
Today, I got concussion after a goat ran in front of me while I was jogging. FML
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Top comments
yuggi1 11
Did you made sure the goat hadn't eaten animal dung before he licked you? No? Pray it hadn't, and if he did, that the animal wasn't carrying any type of bacteria/ parasite fecal transmittable... Otherwise, now you have it on your face. Good luck with that.
ThomasO_fml 0
GOAT used LICK! It's super effective!
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Comments (50)
ThomasO_fml 0
GOAT used LICK! It's super effective!
sin211 0
who thinks that's cute?! and who would let a goat lick their face?!
mcnally664 5
and where was the donkey and the midget when this was happening?
Saddyohh 13
The goat was just trying to make sure you weren't going to have your way with it. I'm sure he also had poison ivy or maybe oak near it's genitals. FYL for messing with animals OP.
emetos 8
Seriously, why in the hell were you letting a goat lick your face?
Evesapple671 0
I love animals they are SO DELICIOUS (:
stewiee 0
goats have a reputation for eating EVERYTHING and you let it lick your face?
jewels1877 0
In the face!! Be careful about what your hands touch.
Bruno_Mars_Fan 0
Um...what?
turkeys_hen 0
I've always wanted a goat. I think you just changed my mind.
Stupidpeopleanno 5
Curry goat tastes good. Jus' sayin' *wink*.