Miscellaneous: Today, I learned that in my family, 'Father's Day' is more like...

By Sam - 20/06/2010 13:18 - France

Today, I learned that in my family, 'Father's Day' is more like 'Father's drunken, piss on a plant in the kitchen during breakfast, order you to scrub in between his toes with your toothbrush Day.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 055

You deserved it 3 765

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Same thing different taste

By Z - 09/04/2011 22:29 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad decided to have a little father and daughter bonding time. Unfortunately, his idea of bonding involves him sitting around at home, getting piss drunk, and falling asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 471

You deserved it 3 040

This is fine

By Anonymous - 07/08/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my father, who very recently lost his wife, decided that drunkenly hitting on my long-time boyfriend's mom was a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 436

You deserved it 104

Happy birthday to you

By Anonymous - 22/04/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, it's my 15th birthday. My dad stumbled into my bedroom at six in the morning, completely drunk, and slurred the "Happy Birthday" song. Then he told me to go fuck myself, and said that he wished I was never born. Me too, dad. Me too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 630

You deserved it 64

Lovely

By sigh - 18/11/2019 01:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, my parents forgot it was my birthday. They ordered me to scrub the common bathroom, and when I asked if they'd remembered, my dad's reaction was, "Oh! Really?" My mom's was, "I thought that it was next week." What lovely parents I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 362

You deserved it 203

Latergram

By Anonymous - 21/06/2023 10:00

Today, I made it halfway through saying "Happy Father's Day" before he interrupted to send me to do an unimportant chore. When I finished, he’d opened the beer I'd bought him, despite it being 7:30am, but he was convinced it was a bribe because I wanted something from him. I don’t know why I bother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 841

You deserved it 110

By Anon - 29/09/2015 03:18 - Canada - Calgary

Today, at 8:00am, I walked into the kitchen and stubbed my toe. That's quite a normal occurrence, but this time, I stubbed it on my drunk, passed out, 53-year-old father's forehead. He's mad at me now and has cancelled my allowance. I'm 23. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 102

You deserved it 9 056

By paige - 01/04/2011 03:18 - United States

Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 749

You deserved it 5 792

FOMO

By Brian - 18/06/2024 05:00 - United States - Prospect

Today, it's Fathers Day. Both of my adult daughters called me… from their stepfather's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 170

By Forgotten - 06/09/2009 07:26 - United States

Today, I decided to visit my dad. I haven't seen him in a while so I wanted to give him another chance to be an actual dad to me. Apparently, getting drunk and getting it on with his girlfriend while I was there was more important than spending time with his daughter, who he hasn't seen in almost a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 704

You deserved it 4 080

Bad guest

By Unknown - 23/12/2014 18:25 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, I learned to never invite my father to a wedding. He'll show up late, complain about the food, piss on a tree, and leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 692

You deserved it 3 052

SyraSid5 0

Sunday 20 June 2010 19:08

use his toothbrush instead, he's probably to drunk to even notice, and then tell him when he is sober!

emopinback 0

Sunday 20 June 2010 19:07

i wish i had a father but now i dont want one

Comments

firstdbzmaker 15

Sunday 20 June 2010 19:20

******* fathers... jkjk <3 :)

CurseYourLove 0

Sunday 20 June 2010 19:21

ooh i love that holiday too! jkjk fyl OP

aback 4

Sunday 20 June 2010 19:23

If he's drunk enough he won't know that it's his toothbrush.

Miko159 0

Sunday 20 June 2010 19:27

That sounded awesome! that's one hell of a father when drunk.

teamsleep22 0

Sunday 20 June 2010 19:27

fag

SyraSid5 0

Sunday 20 June 2010 19:28

like I said 20! :)

aback 4

Sunday 20 June 2010 23:51

So you did! Great minds think alike.

starpowerr 0

Sunday 20 June 2010 19:30

fyl I'm sorry

CalGirl1990 0

Sunday 20 June 2010 19:37

favorited, this is too funny

f_alltheirlives 3

Sunday 20 June 2010 19:42

That is my favorite day of the year

HeyMina 0

Sunday 20 June 2010 19:43

Omfg. I love your dad. The last time my dad was drunk we talked about what we're going to name our dog. Lame. :(

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The Top

Today, my husband asked me to show him my boob. I began to pull the side of my shirt down when he said, "No, not that one, the big one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 741

You deserved it 4 868

Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 710

You deserved it 3 536

Today, I got put in Facebook jail for telling a guy fat shaming a girl he was a "s*x*st b*st*rd." Immediately after, FB informed me that a person I reported for threats didn't violate community standards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 829

You deserved it 351

Today, I came back to my dorm only to hear my neighbor having loud sex. I thought I was just thinking when I said, "At least do it against the other wall," but when I was left later on, he walked by, apologized and said that he thought I wasn't home, and promised to be more quiet next time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 141

You deserved it 570

Today, I told my mom about an article I'd seen that said people tend to make the most mistakes at 2 to 3 in the morning. Without a trace of humor in her voice, she said, "Tell me about it. You were conceived round about then." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 213

You deserved it 3 397

Today, the boy I like came to my house with a dozen roses to ask me to homecoming. My uncle chased him down the street with a pitchfork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 848

You deserved it 2 786